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    selinacahill's Avatar
    selinacahill Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 5, 2011, 12:02 PM
    Father of my child is going through the courts trying to get access
    The father of my child is going through the courts trying to get access and guardianship of my son. I would never stop him from seeing his son so I will agree to a certain amount of access but I will not agree to him getting guardianship of my son. He has no money can barely look after himself and is always in court for fighting and has loads of charges not a great role model for my baby.he denied him for a year and called me everyname under the sun! What can I do to stop him getting guardianship??
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    May 5, 2011, 12:12 PM

    Guardianship? Do you mean custody? You go to Court and prove that you are the better parent, that he is a danger to the child (emotionally, physically) or unfit.

    Why is he doing this (if you know) if you are allowing him visitation?

    Has DNA testing been done? Is he definitely the father?
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #3

    May 5, 2011, 12:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by selinacahill View Post
    ... what can i do to stop him getting guardianship???
    Get an attorney and vigorously oppose his efforts in court.

    Where are you? In most places with which I am familiar, a parent of a child would not sue for "guardianship" of his own child. He would bring an action for custody.

    It is likely that he wants to establish some court-ordered visitation rights, and simply is asking for "guardianship" because that would be the "best-case" for him. And it is quite possible that he seeks to have a greater percentage of custodial time in order to decrease the child support he must pay. He is paying child support, right?
    selinacahill's Avatar
    selinacahill Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 5, 2011, 12:28 PM
    I live in ireland. He has never gave me any maintence. I want my son to be safe but feel that he has a right to know his father but I will not leave him have him unless it's a supervised visit. But don't know if the courts will agree with me
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #5

    May 5, 2011, 12:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by selinacahill View Post
    ... i will not leave him have him unless its a supervised visit. but dont know if the courts wil agree with me
    That might be the problem right there. It is normal for an adult parent to be offended if told that he or she may only have supervised visitation. If so, that may be why he is taking you to court for guardianship rights.

    Unless you have specific cause for concern about the safety of your child, I suggest that you relent on your demand for supervised visitation.
    The reasons you given so far, that the father
    • "has no money",
    • "can barely look after himself" (What do you mean by this? Is he somehow mentally or physically handicapped?) and
    • "is always in court for fighting and has loads of charges";
    do not seem sufficient for denying him unsupervised visitation, in my opinion.
    And remember, sooner or later you will have to let your child out of your immediate control. Might as well start now.
    selinacahill's Avatar
    selinacahill Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 5, 2011, 12:47 PM
    But I do have specific cause for concern for my child's safety. He is violent very abusive and threatening. He lives on his own in a council house. His neighbours are constantly complaining about all the loud partys he has in house and there is always trouble at his partys with fight breaking out all the time.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    May 5, 2011, 07:31 PM

    So how many times has he threatened or abused this child ?
    Or any child as for as that goes.

    What is the police record, that you will provide the court, not what his neighbors say.

    But then what supervision, if you expected him to visit only in your home or only with you sitting there, that is the problem, and that will not happen, he will get a third party supervisor at least, but unless there is more than what you said, he will just get regular visits with the child alone.
    So yes I understand why he is in court and I expect him to win regular visits. He is asking for more, since in his view point you are not reasonable, and he hopes most likely to end up in a settlement or agreement for just regular visits \
    ( my guess anyway)
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #8

    May 6, 2011, 03:42 AM

    We see this all the time. This man was OK for you to have sex with, but he's not good enough to be a father. The courts WILL take this into consideration.

    You made a choice to have sex with this man. That is a decision you and your child will have to live with.

    Unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, you have little chance of preventing him from his parental rights. You need to consult an attorney (solicitor?) to understand what rights you have and how best you can protect your child.

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