[shepsala]

We have a court ordered visitation schedule which my son's dad chooses to ignore (my son is 13). My son's "father" pays timely child support every month but has totally abandoned our son even though he lives 15 minutes away! This circumstance has created more financial cost to me so I wanted to know if I could go to court and receive an increase in child support?

[smoothy]

How has this created more financial cost to you? If you go to court they are going to ask that question... or is this purely punative. Again... something his lawyer is going to say.

Has he had an income increase since the last hearing. Court ordered visitation is basically a guarantee of when he can see the child and for how long, to avoid fights over it some parents try to put up... not that he absolutely HAS to see the kid at all. Personally, like you, I think he's making a huge mistake not seeing him. Some day he will regret it.

[smoothy]

I honestly don't know if forcing him to give YOU money will compensate your son for what he is losing. Or that its actually compensible at all. Someone else will have to respond there.

[tidelaw343]

This isn't legal advice, and if it raises any further questions you should ask your attorney:

First, please understand that child support isn't punitive. Just because the child's father is not doing exactly what you want him to do does not mean you should march down to the courthouse and demand an increase in his payments to punish him or show him up. Also, visitation schedules are not mandates, and as the father is now legally separated from the parent with primary custody (that'd be you), he has no legal or contractual obligation to see his child, and I don't believe there are any statutes or judicial rulings that can be used to force him to see the child.

That said, if there is a significant cost created from keeping the child on days/weekends when the father should have it (having to find sitters while you're at work, etc.), then you may have cause to petition the court for an increase in child support. I want to emphasize "significant costs", because outside of the emotional cost of virtually any issue in a split, most of the costs are likely minimal -- food/lodging/mileage are not considered significant, as your parental duties still exist.

Again, figure out the exact dollar amount of the extra charges you're incurring, and if it's significant, call your attorney and proceed from there.

[Fr_Chuck]

I can only speak for the states in the US where I have dealt with child support.

No, first you can not force him to visit, he may have a right but it is not a obligation. You can after a time go back to take some of the visits away. In most areas support is determined merely on pay.

[shepsala]

Dear tidelaw343- thank you for responding- I think you are way to easy on this man who just out of the blue completely abandoned his son!! Our courts system SHOULD have a mandatory fine in place for men or women who do these types of evil things.

[jberry437]

It is more costly for you to have the children full time without a break. That means you have to furnish all meals and outings for the weekends he should have had them. A big savings to him. Every vacation, every holiday, every summer- that he would have had them now becomes your financial responsibility. Legally a parent cannot be forced to see or spend time with his kids. Its his choice. In my state (texas) you cannot be compensated for the weekends he fails to see them. You bare the financial cost for his weekends too.