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omorfos1974 · Apr 26, 2011, 06:22 AM

Hi everyone, my question is that basically I was in a realationship and my girlfriend had a baby, we boke up for some reasons, I have been trying to get her back to get my family reunited but its hopeless, this has been a year, also she won't let me see the baby when ever I want, its always every 2 weeks and every month she wants money for the baby, I told her that I will go court and she laughed in my face saying that no court or judge will let me see him, I desperatly want to reunite my family but she's pushing me to go to court. First question is if I take her to court should I forget my family ever getting back together?? And second question is will the courts grant me to take my child and spend time with him?? I need answers.

Thanks everyone !

smoothy · Apr 26, 2011, 06:31 AM

Go to court, get a visitation order... then she can't play these childish games without legally being in contempt.

They will establish a visitation schedule. And she will have no choice but comply. Or she can be jailed or even lose custody.

Keep in mind she can go to court as well at any time and get child support payments from you if she hasn't already.

cloeyy1992 · Apr 26, 2011, 06:45 AM

If she's treating the situation like that I wouldn't bank on it getting back together, but for the child's sake. Go to the courts, get you fair share of time, and give it time and if you're a great dad maybe the mum will see that too.

omorfos1974 · Apr 26, 2011, 06:51 AM

Just told her that I have had enough and that I just want to see the baby and that I will have to go court, her answer was : the things I've got on you and your family no court will let you see the baby, I am the only person that will let you see him and now you've just lost that.
What can I say...

J_9 · Apr 26, 2011, 06:53 AM

Does she have "things" on you and/or your family?

If not, get a lawyer.

omorfos1974 · Apr 26, 2011, 06:55 AM

No she has nothing. But she's risking a lot, why is she bluffing like this...

Thanks everyone !

ScottGem · Apr 26, 2011, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by omorfos1974

no she has nothing. but shes risking alot, why is she bluffing like this....

thanks everyone !

Because she knows once you got to court she will lose control.

You do need to go to court, establish paternity, get joint legal custody and set up a visitation schedule.

You will NOT be able to see your child whenever you want, but you will get specific visitation. If you want to see your child outside the schedule that will be up to her, assuming she gets primary physical custody.

omorfos1974 · Apr 26, 2011, 02:19 PM

THANKS SCOTTGEM, What is the average I will be able to see my son ? Once a week ? Twice a week ? Will he be able to stay with me for a night ? I'm so confused...

Thanks...

ScottGem · Apr 26, 2011, 02:32 PM

Every situation is different. I would think alternate weekends would be probable depending on the age of the child and how far away you live. Maybe one or two evenings a week. Its really hard to see without knowing a lot more details then you can really tell us here.

But, if you have a proven relationship with the child, visitation will be fairly generous.

omorfos1974 · Apr 26, 2011, 02:38 PM

I live 5 miles away from them, and for a year now I've been seeing my child at her house while she's there every 2 weeks for the past year, the baby is a year and a half... as soon as I told her that I can't do this anymore and said it's a shame to go to the courts lets resolve this amongst her she snapped and said to me that if I do that ull never see him again... hence why I am so confused...

cdad · Apr 26, 2011, 03:09 PM

Do you want full custody? Can you handle it? Get into court. What she is doing is called parental alienation. Take your proof with you and get it done. Her tone will change after there are court orders because it cuts through all the BS. If she keeps on this path then she will lose the child.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 26, 2011, 07:55 PM

You are suppose to go to court and unless you are a dangerous criminal, yes you can get at least visit with your child.

This is where and what you needed to have done shortly after the baby is born.

And yes you will be making weekly or monthly child support payments set bythe court,

omorfos1974 · May 1, 2011, 03:07 PM

I went to a lawyer and he explained to me that it may take up to 6 months for me to get on the birth certificate, that means I will not be able to see the child for 6 months maybe longer... is that true??

AK lawyer · May 1, 2011, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by omorfos1974

i went to a lawyer and he explained to me that it may take up to 6 months for me to get on the birth certificate, that means i will not be able to see the child for 6 months maybe longer.... is that true ???

I don't know. Probably. That lawyer probably knows the answer to that question a lot better than we do.

But you didn't tell us that you aren't named on the birth certificate. Depending on whether there are other circumstances you also failed to tell us, I would think the court could order temporary visitation pending determination of paternity.

In any event, you need to go ahead with it anyway. Better start now.

ScottGem · May 1, 2011, 03:58 PM

Getting your name on the BC is secondary. What you want is a court to declare you the legal father. Once that is done, they can order visitation.

How long this will take depends on court workload.

P.S. when posting a follow-up question or info, please use the Answer options at the bottom of the page rather than the Comments.

omorfos1974 · May 2, 2011, 03:04 AM

I had broken up with my girlfriend just before the baby was registered that's why I am not on the birth certificate, no I'm not a criminal, the thing is how long would it be to be recognoized that I am the legal father and how long would it be for me to see the child, because if I was going to go court the mother would never let me see the child because I went legally...

Thanks everyone...

ScottGem · May 2, 2011, 03:20 AM

You are asking questions we can't answer. First, we don't know where you are and what the situation is with the courts in your area. Your attorney will know much more about that than we can. The process will go something like this:

1) You file for joint legal custody and visitation.
2) A hearing gets scheduled. The hearing will probably be short as the court will order a paternity test and adjourn.
3) You wait for the test to come back which can take weeks.
4) Another hearing is scheduled. At this hearing the judge MAY rule. MAY issue temporary orders or MAY decide to continue the case.

The mother may get her own attorney who will try to delay things as long as possible. Whenever you are dealing with the courts, expect a drawn out process.

You need to question your attorney. Ask him to detail what the whole process will be. But you have no choice but to go through this process.

We may be able to help along the way by letting you know what questions to ask of your attorney.