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bcdude93 · Apr 30, 2011, 01:27 PM

So my ex girlfriend broke up with me roughly 2 months ago, she said she didn't like commitment and wanted me to enjoy my grade 12 year and hook up with other girls. She was the one girl that I felt so strongly for, we connected so well and I loved being with her. I'll admit, I was somewhat clingy which can be a great turnoff. Anyway, we started talking again after about 3 weeks of no contact, and I asked her if she wanted to hang out which she agreed to. So yesterday I picked her up and we hung out only for about an hour and a half, but during that time I made sure I was really friendly and just basically acting like everyone was how it used to be. She did the same, told me what was new with her life and all that and we had a pretty good time. The only problem is that when we were chatting she told me she'd been hanging out with this group of guy friends ( 4 of them) a lot lately, and told me about one of them named kyle, who gave her a "nickname". I was cool about it, asked if he was a nice guy she said yes he's a very nice guy, and that was that. After we hung out she said she was going to hang out with her two friends (kyle and some other guy) and another girl. I still have strong feelings for my ex but I don't want to seem needy and pushy, and I'm confused to whether she actually has a thing with this kyle guy.. so any advice on what I could do would be great

amicon · Apr 30, 2011, 01:31 PM

If you still have feelings for her,trying to be friends isn't a great idea.

You're broken up,maybe she has a thing with Kyle or maybe not,but that's her choice-you're no longer together.

bcdude93 · Apr 30, 2011, 01:46 PM

But we didn't talk for like 3 weeks, and then all of a sudden she wants to hang out. So wouldn't that mean she might still have feelings..

Its just really hard for me to let her go.. she's honestly so amazing, and I don't want to lose her

talaniman · Apr 30, 2011, 05:48 PM

Strike one
So my ex girlfriend broke up with me roughly 2 months ago, she said she didn't like commitment and wanted me to enjoy my grade 12 year and hook up with other girls.
Strike two
The only problem is that when we were chatting she told me she'd been hanging out with this group of guy friends ( 4 of them) a lot lately, and told me about one of them named kyle, who gave her a "nickname". I was cool about it, asked if he was a nice guy she said yes he's a very nice guy, and that was that.
Strike three, you are out
After we hung out she said she was going to hang out with her two friends (kyle and some other guy) and another girl.

She may have feelings for you, but not enough to take you back. Sorry guy, but not only where you dumped, but demoted to friend zone. Don't make this worse because I suspect she was being as nice as she could be and you must accept that this is over, and she means it when she says, "move on and date others", because that's exactly what she is doing.

You mistake niceness for romance, and that's called false hope.

Sorry for your loss, but you better take the hint, because you lost her MONTHS ago, and she ain't coming back.

sadpuppyguy · Apr 30, 2011, 06:46 PM

Im in the same situation as you. If you still really like/love her, then do not give up. Wait, be nice, be kind of flirty, then go for it and ask her out. Am I guarenteeing that this will work, no. But it is possible and my plan. Remember, the key is not to give up. Be strong brother.

NukeNC · Apr 30, 2011, 07:40 PM

Well, I agree that you should give up on the relationship problem. But, I wouldn't say that you shouldn't be friends with her. I mean... what did she do wrong? She was straight up with you, she didn't lie, you can't hate someone for telling you how they feel.

If you really care about someone, even if it might kill you to just be friends... You'll deal with it. But, I would wait awhile. Don't want to be saying anything stupid and ruining your friendship you could have.

bcdude93 · Apr 30, 2011, 07:46 PM

I don't know man, she's playing games with my head. Like she was textin me yesterday before I went to go get her and was like "i straightened my hair just for youu" which she always said when we were dating, and was like all stoked to chill. Girls are messed up, so I'm going to keep on casually talking to her and still flirt with her because I still really care for her, but I'm not going to push anything with her, and I guess we'll see how it goes. Cause in the end it is what is it, and if she does end up with that other guy, then there's not much I can do.

amicon · May 1, 2011, 12:20 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Strike one
so my ex girlfriend broke up with me roughly 2 months ago, she said she didn't like commitment and wanted me to enjoy my grade 12 year and hook up with other girls.
Strike two
The only problem is that when we were chatting she told me she'd been hanging out with this group of guy friends ( 4 of them) alot lately, and told me about one of them named kyle, who gave her a "nickname". i was cool about it, asked if he was a nice guy she said yes he's a very nice guy, and that was that.
Strike three, you are out
after we hung out she said she was going to hang out with her two friends (kyle and some other guy) and another girl.

She may have feelings for you, but not enough to take you back. Sorry guy, but not only where you dumped, but demoted to friend zone. Don't make this worse because I suspect she was being as nice as she could be and you must accept that this is over, and she means it when she says, "move on and date others", because thats exactly what she is doing.

You mistake niceness for romance, and thats called false hope.

Sorry for your loss, but you better take the hint, because you lost her MONTHS ago, and she ain't coming back.

Read this again,please.

bcdude93 · May 1, 2011, 09:11 AM

Yeah, I read it and thanks for the feedback. I guess I'm just having a hard time accepting the truth.

amicon · May 1, 2011, 09:57 AM

At least you know what the truth is;acceptance will come,once you let it.

The beauty of distancing yourself from the source of the problem is that your mind will clear and you'll be able to move on.

bcdude93 · May 1, 2011, 12:22 PM

Its weird how one person can have such an impact on you, and you're so used to talking to them all the time either via text, in person or on the phone, and then when they aren't there anymore you just feel lost.

amicon · May 1, 2011, 11:24 PM

That's where you have to start building a life for yourself,with other people in it and other things to do.

You're not lost,you just have to change your direction.

bcdude93 · May 2, 2011, 12:27 AM

True that, I only get to go through grade 12 once. Might as well make it worthwhile even if she isn't part of it.

amicon · May 2, 2011, 12:35 AM

Go for it!

mmresd · May 2, 2011, 12:52 PM

You can't do anything, and to be completely honest in this particular scenario, the less you do the better. It is only a matter of time before she starts banging one of those guys man. The reason why she said that you need to meet other girls was because she is eager to meet other guys. She is gone, you two have broken up, so leave her with her decision and live your life apart from her.

Rule of thumb with any ex though: if you are not completely over them practice "no contact" because being in the friends zone will hurt you badly in the long run.

Good luck,
Javi

bcdude93 · May 3, 2011, 06:22 PM

Yeah so update on the situation, turns out I was wrong and she's beeng hanging out with this other guy lately. Not stoked on it, but I realized she's moved on (obviously) and have backed away. It's going to take some time for me to get over her, but I've been having massive mood swings lately, one minute I'm happy next I'm all depressed n **** but that's usually just when I think about her. And its literally ruining my days, like I'm not as social anymore and I just don't feel like doing anything. So I'm going to actually grow a pair, leave her alone and try my best to move on. Life's a *****, but it is what is it and I might as well make the best of it.