I need this..

hael10861 · Apr 28, 2011, 01:36 PM

I want to write a closure letter to my high school boyfriend. We are both married and in our early 50's. But now that I'm a widow I am having a relationship with a former classmate too who knew about him and wanted me to write a closure letter. Actually , what happened to this high school boyfriend is that we really didn't broke up but we were just separated with distance. There was writing letters but it all just died a natural death... no communication anymore but no closure. We saw each other after 30 years but there was no mention about our relationship? Should I assume that he considered it closed? For me it is but would it be for him? Should I write a closure letter? Wouldn't he be shocked to hear about this after how many years? Please help me write one, I don't know how to start and what to say. I want to write a closure letter that would be just simple.

sharper11 · Apr 28, 2011, 01:45 PM

Hmmm, to be honest, I would assume he has accepted that the relationship ended. A closure letter may be taken as a "joke" at this point. Do YOU need to have closure? If this is for you to have closure, then by all means, write it.

But it may not have the impact that you're expecting. If you keep it light hearted it may be kind of cute. Unfortunately, I am not the person you want help from with writing it :)

Good luck. Your situation is out of the ordinary, but kind of cool.

J_9 · Apr 28, 2011, 01:50 PM

Write the letter, if you feel you must, but don't send it. You don't know if he's in a relationship now, and if he is, you risk ruining that relationship.

I'm in a very similar boat right now, aside from the fact that I am happily married. I would love to have closure with an old high school flame, but I know through mutual friends, that I would ruin the lives of many, including my own family, if I did something like this.

joypulv · Apr 29, 2011, 07:18 AM

I'm wondering why the person you are involved with thinks you need to do this.
Did getting involved with a classmate of all 3 of you bring out stories and feelings that he feels are hampering your relationship with him? Is it true?

I have never been a big fan of the word closure in relationships. Why should they, and how can they, really ever be closed, unless they were so minor as to be forgotten anyway? They become part of who you are, the sad with the happy.

If you need to resolve what was said or not said, done or not done, then do so, but don't think of it as 'closed.'