[AmbaxDarlin]

I do love him very much, but his past keeps haunting me. He has had sex with 26 women, and messed around with countless more, many of which I'm good friends with. He only had one serious relationship, and he cheated on her numerous times. I literally get sick in the stomach when I think of someone of the explicitly dirty things (and people) he has done. I don't want this to ruin our relationship, but it has been becoming a literal physical pain in my stomach when I think about it. I don't know how to get over it. The man I see is so far from the dirty, disgusting, (for lack of a better word) whore that did all these things. Part of me just doesn't understand how someone so sweet & caring, could have done things like this. But at the same time, he is a man, and I guess I get that. I just don't know how to not keep getting upset over this. I've tried to talk about it, and every time all he says is he doesn't want to talk about it. He refuses to tell me who any of these girls are, which wouldn't bother me (as much) if I didn't know some of them were girls I see everyday. I don't know where to go from here. Help?

[Alty]

Everyone has a past. I'm sure you do as well. When you start a relationship with someone, the past is no longer relevant. Whatever happened before he met you is not something that should have any effect on your relationship.

I don't know why you would want to discuss this. It makes no sense. He can't change the past, it's already happened, like it or not. What good will discussing it do? What good will knowing which girls he had sex with do? It's a done deal. He has a right to his past and privacy concerning that past.

Bottom line, you either accept that you can't change what happened before you met him, that he's not the person he was then, and love him for who and what he is now, or you leave and find someone with a past you can tolerate.

[ken007nielsen]

Time heals all wounds.

Best way for you to go about this is, when you start thinking about his past you have to focus all your energy on doing or thinking something else, it's not an immediate fix but use it and along with time, you can get over it. (I know it worked because I once too was a curious one)

But let this be a lesson to you. You don't need to know every little dirty secret about your boyfriends past!

[talaniman]

Maybe that sick feeling you get is a warning to leave him alone, and not be like the rest of the girls who have fallen for his charms.

[mmresd]

You are going to have to fight this on your own. There is no straight solution to you feeling this way. You either break up with him, choose to forget his past, or choose to stay with him and keep suffering. Have you asked yourself, why is it that it bothers you so much? Because he is with you now, and as far as you know he has been faithful. Why are you torturing yourself by imagining such explicit things, they are not happening now. No matter how tainted a person's past is, they could have changed, but you need to trust him, if you can't then the relationship is on a timer regardless. Stop asking questions and just try to enjoy the relationship while it lasts.

Good luck,
Javi