[flowerpot999]

She went through his journel.she went through my journel said we need mental help come on you write things in the heat of the moment.her sons photo got scribbled on she blamed my brother and me said it wouldent have been her children. She's in a bad mood all the time she uses the f word outload when she hasent before she screams and shouts over the simple things and before we met her I was happy and calm now I get angry and hit and slap . She sees a counciller and says loads of horrible stuff about my mum because she left us when I was 1 she sas I'm a better mum... she puts me in a mood we not allowed pets.I comfort eat a lot now which makes me overweight but before I met her I wasent.ive tried loads of things told my dad.she also denias that she ever does anything wrond.my dads an ex phyciatric nurse and what she does are coomon syptoms of some mentall illness.she sometimes doesn't make dinner for me my brothe and my dad when she makes it for her her son and daughter I'm 12 and I want to get away from this what should I do

[JudyKayTee]

she went through his journel.she went through my journel said we need mental help come on you write things in the heat of the moment.her sons photo got scribbled on she blamed my brother and me said it wouldent have been her children. shes in a bad mood all the time she uses the f word outload when she hasent before she screams and shouts over the simple things and before we met her i was happy and calm now i get angry and hit and slap . she sees a counciller and says loads of horrible stuff about my mum because she left us when i was 1 she sas im a better mum....she puts me in a mood we not allowed pets.i comfort eat alot now which makes me overweight but before i met her i wasent.ive tried loads of things told my dad.she also denias that she ever does anything wrond.my dads an ex phyciatric nurse and what she does are coomon syptoms of some mentall illness.she sometimes dosent make dinner for me my brothe and my dad when she makes it 4 her her son and daughter im 12 and i want to get away from this what should i do

What did you write in the heat of the moment? I think you left that part out. What did "someone" write on her son's photo?

It sounds like you all need to speak to a mental health professional or relationship advisor.

Your Dad says she is showing symptoms of mental illness... but he does nothing to protect you from her?

Where is your Dad in all of this? What does he do when she and her children sit down for dinner and there is nothing for you to eat?

The situation sounds abusive in both directions. I realize you are only 12 but no other person can "make" you hit and slap and overeat.

I think a lot of this comes down to where your Dad is in all of this.

Is there anyone at school, an adult, you can talk to about this?

[JudyKayTee]

I thought this over and have come back to add a word or two.

How does your mother's name come up in conversation at your house? Do you compare your "real" mother with your "step" mother? It appears your "real" mother left and your "step" stayed. Comparison is unfair to both of them.

Do you think that if your Dad divorces your stepmother and he and your "real" mother will reconcile?

[flowerpot999]

Erm I don't like school at all and I don't want my mum to come back anyway she's got a new husband I just want to stop all the moodeyness and arguing that happens all the time.I don't like saying how I feel outloud cause I'm quite shy that's why I came here .my dad is usually at work he works Monday to Friday 8 till 7 so he's tired and so doesn't cook he also works holidays .I have some behavioral isues but I'm dealing with it and accepting it but my step mum denies she ever does any thing wrong. I'm scared about the summer holidays

[JudyKayTee]

You want answers but "we" need more info. Please answer my questions, posted earlier:

What did you write in the heat of the moment?

Your Dad says she is showing symptoms of mental illness... but he does nothing to protect you from her?

Where is your Dad in all of this?

What does he do when she and her children sit down for dinner and there is nothing for you to eat?

Is there anyone at school, an adult, you can talk to about this?

How does your "real" mother's name come up in conversations? Seems like an odd topic for a stepmother to start.

What behaviorial issues do you have?

What does your stepmother do wrong that she won't admit to?

[joypulv]

You also don't say when your dad married her. I take it there were many years between your mother leaving and this marriage?
You have to understand that we aren't there and that your story is somewhat rambling and doesn't provide the whole picture.
Just as an example, I can see a parent not wanting to cook for two children who say they won't eat until their dad gets home, after 7. Then you tell us she doesn't cook for you but does for her children. What I don't see is a mother and a father and all the children at a table, with the mother refusing to cook for some and not others. Do you see how sometimes stories don't add up?
I'm not saying that there aren't problems, I really do believe there are. And it isn't easy when you are only 12 to put it all in words. The burden here is on your father, to sit down with you and listen and talk and explain and try to bring the family together.

[martinizing2]

Do you have a counselor at your school you
Would be willing to talk to about this ?
Or an aunt or uncle maybe grandparents.

I think it would be helpful in helping
You out of a situation like you describe.

[JudyKayTee]

You also don't say when your dad married her. I take it there were many years between your mother leaving and this marriage?
You have to understand that we aren't there and that your story is somewhat rambling and doesn't provide the whole picture.
Just as an example, I can see a parent not wanting to cook for two children who say they won't eat til their dad gets home, after 7. Then you tell us she doesn't cook for you but does for her children. What I don't see is a mother and a father and all the children at a table, with the mother refusing to cook for some and not others. Do you see how sometimes stories don't add up?
I'm not saying that there aren't problems, I really do believe there are. And it isn't easy when you are only 12 to put it all in words. The burden here is on your father, to sit down with you and listen and talk and explain and try to bring the family together.

Not cooking at all and not cooking what someone likes are two different things - the stepmother very well may cook a meal which OP prefers not to eat.

My mother always said she wasn't running a restaurant. Either you ate what she cooked or you scrounged up something for yourself.

And I agree - does the OP prefer to wait for Dad to come home rather than eat with the rest of the family.

... Maybe I've been a stepmother too long but I see both sides of this.

[kangarooz]

Dear Flowerpot999
Sorry you are going through such a tough time. Twelve is hard enough even if you have a loving mother-type. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you without one. I am sad that two people on this site have responded to your post by interrogating you like the police interrogate a suspect. Yes, journals are where we write our private thoughts rather than act on them. You should feel safe writing in your journal, not like your journal is going to be used as a weapon against you. It was wrong of your step mother to invade the privacy of your journal. Sometimes adults make mistakes - but you know that. I had a step-mother who often would not cook for me either, and would bring up my birth mother whenever she lost her temper. Again, sometimes adults make mistakes. My step-mother was and is a very insecure woman. She never thought that her actions were bad, because she could never see them from any point of view other than her own and her insecurity blinded her. If I could go back in time, I would have spent my energy thinking about my future, my dreams, my hobbies and sports, instead of my step-mother and father. Try to get a counselor or therapist or church youth leader to talk to. Just because your step-mother says that you need "mental help" (even if she's saying it to be mean) doesn't mean that "mental help" is a bad thing. "Mental help" can end up being an adult who you feel is on your side and listens to you and intercedes with your parents for you. Bless you.