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blove35 · Apr 25, 2011, 09:35 AM

I dated a girl for 9 month she continues to asked me if I love her I say sure and give her a hug. In the 2 month that we dated she when threw my emails and copmputer and found message that didn't mean anything while I was sleeping she went threw my phone she thinks that I'm cheating on her I've explain to her the situation about these girl she also move in with me within the 2 month. Its been 4 weeks we've not been together she moved out. She texted me a few times asking if there were anymore thing at the house I said a basket and her car key I told her it was best if she sent a friend to come and get it. I just didn't want to see her because it would hurt nore she says she can trust me and that I'm a liar and she can't believe anything I say but I was honest right from the beginning what do I do do you think she will call.

ken007nielsen · Apr 25, 2011, 09:57 AM

My girlfriend left me because of the same thing its been 3 weeks I'm still hurting but I haven't contacted her she texting me for her thing I told her to send a friend over to come and get it I love her but the other hand she left I feel bad on what I did but I have to learn from my mistakes,.

You wrote that on another's question.. keywords (I have to learn from my mistake)

Your relationship is over, now it's time to move on and learn from your mistakes, don't message with other girls while dating, at least not stuff that doesent mean anything to you but makes your girl break up with you.

blove35 · Apr 25, 2011, 10:14 AM

But she new right from the beginning

papintiggy · Apr 25, 2011, 10:45 AM

I really don't know the girl personality but I am going to respond like if I was the girl in the relationship. To begin with, she shouldn't have not been checking your e-mails that is your private life and you guys may have been intimate but not that intimate to be logging in to one another e-mail and checking up on each other like if there was no trust. She saw the email and you tried to explains to her the truth then I think you should give her a call or set up a will basic date and talk to her about that day and be completely honest. Honest and communication helps the relationship be stronger and better. In a relationship there is up and down and misunderstanding. You should print out the email and analyze with her and ask her what part did she think that could have led that thought of cheating. We are humans and we are not perfect.

blove35 · Apr 25, 2011, 11:23 AM

I was honest i explained the hole situation this girl was a friend and we were joking she also checked my phone i've explained everything i nevered lied i do love her she moved out i keep saying im sorry what do i do? i've nevered looked in her phone

ken007nielsen · Apr 25, 2011, 01:15 PM

That doesent matter if she knew, if your in a relationship - don't chat with other girls in a inappropriate way...

blove35 · Apr 25, 2011, 01:59 PM

But if she loves me do you think she will text me or call? And do you think she just upset right now

blove35 · Apr 25, 2011, 02:00 PM

Its been 3 days now no text or call is it to soon for her to contact me? How long shouyld I wait?

talaniman · Apr 25, 2011, 11:07 PM

Stop waiting guy. It doesn't matter how honest you were she will never believe it because she has her own personal demons to deal with. How do I know?

In the 2 month that we dated she when threw my emails and computer and found message that didn't mean anything while I was sleeping she went threw my phone she thinks that I'm cheating on her I've explain to her the situation about these girl she also move in with me within the 2 month.

It could have been your cousin texting you or even your mama, she would have dumped you and left just the same. She has ISSUES that go beyond reason, or common sense. You may be in love, but you have dodged a bullet.

That's why you leave her alone, because it would get worse.

I wish · Apr 26, 2011, 12:07 PM

Talking to each other seems to make matters worse; therefore, stop talking!

Find a mutual friend to help you exchange the rest of your stuff and leave each other alone so that you don't hurt each other anymore.

Check out the no contact related threads:

Meaning of NC - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nc-510419.html

NC Rules - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-510423.html

Fighting the Urges - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-510425.html

blove35 · Apr 26, 2011, 12:30 PM

So what you saying is over you think?

I wish · Apr 26, 2011, 12:56 PM

She hasn't given any indication that there's a chance to repair the damage. She believes that you lied and so the trust is broken. No trust = no relationship.

Furthermore, it doesn't sound like she believes any of your explanations, even if they were true. Sounds more like you've been beating a dead horse.

blove35 · Apr 26, 2011, 01:06 PM

Its to bad because I'm a good guy and she the one the moved in with me after 2 month but I guess I did my best in the relationship I nevered meant anything by it

But I've expalined everything to her so I didn't lie

I wish · Apr 26, 2011, 01:30 PM

Whether you lied or not, for some reason she doesn't believe you.

If you felt that you already did everything you can to save the relationship, then you shouldn't have any regrets. Again, no point beating a dead horse.

Cat1864 · Apr 26, 2011, 02:13 PM

You may not like people being blunt, but I am going to be.

Blove, her continually asking if you love her is a huge red flashing warning sign that she is insecure in relationships. No matter what you do or say her insecurities have already jumped to the conclusion that you are not to be trusted. She went through your stuff to find evidence to support her belief of who and what you are. She doesn't care about reality. Reality doesn't support her perceptions.

She probably was hurt by an ex and didn't let herself heal. Now, she has hurt you. Don't do what she seems to have done. Give yourself time to heal. A part of healing is understanding that you didn't do anything wrong in this relationship (other than not seeing the warning sign for what it was and moved in together too quickly. She have made the move, but you allowed it.) Another part is letting the negative feelings go.

Take care of yourself and allow yourself to heal so that you don't carry this baggage with you into your next relationship.

Cat1864 · Apr 26, 2011, 02:46 PM

Please review the guidelines for using the Rating feature: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html

blove35 does not find this helpful : IT MAKES ME FEELING BETTER

I am not sure what you mean or what part of my post you are referring to with your comment and 'reddie' ('does not find this helpful' rating.)

People are going to be blunt or say things that you don't want to hear. Please read the posts and think about what is said. Reacting by giving people negative marks will only result in fewer people trying to help you. Not because they are worried about their Reputation, but because it makes it seem that you only want the advice you want to hear not what you need to hear.

Good luck.

ken007nielsen · Apr 26, 2011, 03:13 PM

Blove, don't bug the girl! She doesn't trust you... stop*

blove35 · Apr 28, 2011, 04:35 AM

Well thank you very much

papintiggy · Apr 28, 2011, 09:17 AM

If you really think that you should call her then I will say do what your heart tells you. If you love her then show her that you do.

DoulaLC · Apr 28, 2011, 03:50 PM

Did she give you any indication that she didn't trust you before she moved in? Did she have any reason to wonder if you were being honest and faithful to her? Do you feel that the two of you moved on the living together situation too quickly?

You were joking around with a friend on your email and texts... just what was being said that caused your girlfriend to be so upset? Granted she shouldn't have been looking, but did she have a legitimate reason to be upset by what she saw? Did your girlfriend know of this friend of yours?

You can call her yourself and try one last time to explain and let her know how you feel about her (she may or may not be able to get passed it), you can leave her alone and wait and see if she contacts you at some point, or you can just let it go and learn from the experience, on a number of levels.