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    xunthinkablex3's Avatar
    xunthinkablex3 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 25, 2011, 11:17 AM
    Lying
    I have a huge problem, Ive been with my boyfriend for over a year and half and I have a hard time telling him the truth. How can I fix it?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Apr 25, 2011, 11:23 AM

    Start by telling the truth from now on.

    What are you lying about?
    xunthinkablex3's Avatar
    xunthinkablex3 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 25, 2011, 11:26 AM

    Let me go into more detail. We've been together for over a year and a half and for more than a year he cheated on me. But I took him back. But before than I would lie to him about stupid things such as who I was with,or what I was doing. I'm not really allowed to do much but I always try to please everyone else and I'm scared to tell him sometimes the truth because he gets mad so easly or because I don't want to hurt him
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Apr 25, 2011, 11:27 AM

    I'd tell him the truth and face the consequences. Why does he have so much control over you?

    If you have to lie to him about where you are or who you are with you either are being unfaithful, he's a control freak... or maybe something else.
    xunthinkablex3's Avatar
    xunthinkablex3 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 25, 2011, 11:30 AM

    Its not that I'm being unfaithful because I just go out and hang out with my friends. But it's the fact that he doesn't like my friends with their girls or guys. He thinks I should stay in my room all day and not do anything. But sometimes the consequesnces of telling the truth are the same as lying to him and I feel like that's why I do it to.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Apr 25, 2011, 02:02 PM

    I can't give you advice on why you lie. I wouldn't be comfortable in such a controlling relationship.

    Why do you stay?
    xunthinkablex3's Avatar
    xunthinkablex3 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 25, 2011, 02:18 PM

    Because I love him.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    Apr 25, 2011, 05:02 PM

    Well, then I guess you put up with whatever he decides to think and/or do and if that involves lying, then I guess you keep lying.

    I don't think you want an answer to your question.
    xunthinkablex3's Avatar
    xunthinkablex3 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 25, 2011, 05:03 PM

    How don't I want an answer to my question
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    Apr 26, 2011, 08:42 AM

    You asked how to stop lying to him. You then responded to my answer with posts about how/why you can't stop lying to him.

    There is no middle ground. Either stop lying to him or don't. Making excuses for your behavior doesn't help anyone.
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