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    alwayzbelieve's Avatar
    alwayzbelieve Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 10, 2011, 03:49 PM
    Do I have to let my son's biological father know that I'm moving out of state?
    I live in the state of Maine and am planning to move at the end of June to Mississippi. I have full, sole custody of our son, the biological father has no visitation rights, and child support was suspended (my decision), all in the court order. Is he still entitled, by law, to know when and where we're moving?
    PinkHarley's Avatar
    PinkHarley Posts: 15, Reputation: -1
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    #2

    Apr 10, 2011, 04:01 PM
    Are you asking about Legal right or Moral right?

    Denying a child contact with a parent should only be done for the most extreme of reasons. You need to know that his lack of contact with his father WILL cause him pain. He will assume unconsciously it is because H is unlovable and feel abandoned. There will be a lot of grieving and garbage he'll have to deal with just from having the lack of contact. Even if his father is not the best role model - contact is healthier than non contact.

    Ask any adult who is still dealing with these issues - they are painful. Please do not put your child through this, especially if this is really about you getting even or wanting to punish the father. Because the one who will be punished is the child - and then you when you are blamed and you will have to live with the guilt that your decision cause your child pain.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    Apr 10, 2011, 04:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by alwayzbelieve View Post
    I live in the state of Maine and am planning to move at the end of June to Mississippi. I have full, sole custody of our son, the biological father has no visitation rights, and child support was suspended (my decision), all in the court order. Is he still entitled, by law, to know when and where we're moving?

    You posted this on the legal board so I am assuming you want the legal answer.

    It would appear - from what you have posted - that you have no LEGAL obligation to advise the father where the son is located.

    It's a sad situation, indeed - but, LEGALLY, yes, you can move.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Apr 10, 2011, 05:36 PM

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkHarley View Post
    Are you asking about Legal right or Moral right?
    You are new to this site so you may not be aware of how this site works. Since this was posted in the Family Law forum answers here need to conform to existing statute. While I understand your point about moral obligations we don't know the circumstances. The OP stated she has sole custody and he has no visitation ordered by a court. Since that is rare it is fair to assume there are issues with the father. So your moralizations were inappropriate on two levels.

    It is nice that you want to help people, but you need to follow the rules and standards of this site.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Apr 10, 2011, 06:11 PM

    Without knowing the exact terms of the child custody order. He has no visits and you have sole custody, but you did not say his "rights" were taken away, or why his visits were taken away, did he merely not fight to try and keep them, or was there other reasons.

    Also did the court order itself say no child support or are you merely not trying to collect. *** there is a big difference

    Since there is a legal custody order, you are bound by the terms of it, And of course the father may still have rights, such as to take you back to court, so moving could do things as change court jurisdiction after you get residence in new state if you wanted to.

    And it could inhibit his rights to file for visits to be given again, just because they were taken away at one point, does not mean they are always taken away, esp if they are supervised visits.

    So I am not as sure as my partners that he does not have a legal right to be notified and/or know where his child is living
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #6

    Apr 10, 2011, 07:01 PM

    Yes it is illegal for you not to tell him your going to move with the child. If domestic violence is involved then you will have to inform the courts of the move.

    (quote)
    Relocation

    An unmarried woman who has custody of a child may relocate to another state if she provides the other parent with at least 30 days notice of the move. If there was domestic violence in the relationship between the unmarried woman and the child's father, the unmarried woman should notify the court about the move, instead of the child's father.

    (end quote)


    Ref:

    Maine Child Custody Rights for Unmarried Women | eHow.com
    PinkHarley's Avatar
    PinkHarley Posts: 15, Reputation: -1
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    #7

    Apr 13, 2011, 09:10 PM
    I give up. Judy and Scott - you have all the answers and they are perfect.

    So there is no room for other opinions right?

    Califdadof3 - Thanks for being the unique person to give accurate help without resorting to bashing other comments. Wish there were more of you.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #8

    Apr 13, 2011, 09:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by PinkHarley View Post
    So there is no room for other opinions right?
    The Legal, and many times the medical boards, don't leave room for "opinion." You see, should the OP (original poster) take the advice/opinion of a member that does not conform to the legalities of the location of the OP, that may place him/her in a precarious position.

    The legal boards is not a place for opinion, but rather of legal fact and/or research.

    It is good that you are here trying to help. I have read many of your responses and they are spot on. However, the Legal and Medical boards, just to name two, are completely different than, say, the Relationship boards.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #9

    Apr 14, 2011, 03:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by PinkHarley View Post
    I give up. Judy and Scott - you have all the answers and they are perfect.

    So there is no room for other opinions right?

    Califdadof3 - Thanks for being the unique person to give accurate help without resorting to bashing other comments. Wish there were more of you.
    Boy are you way off! You completely misread our comments. I haven't a clue where you got this reaction from. All we were trying to do is explain to you how this site works and the standards we have for answering questions in certain areas. Your reactions in this thread and to another post were also way inappropriate.

    Frankly, what I see is someone who came here and expected to be lauded for answering some questions, but instead got criticized for not following the rules of the site. And then got their nose out of joint because of that. Instead of understanding where they went wrong they try to strike back at the people explaining the rules.
    marymaine's Avatar
    marymaine Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 19, 2011, 11:09 AM
    You have no legal obligation to inform the father since you have sole physical custody. If you have any matters still pending in the courts, ie: an appeal for custody... You have to notify the courts in writing. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I know how difficult this can be for everyone involved. My mother went through the same thing (in Maine) and she only had to notify the courts because there was a pending case - my dad appealled everything.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #11

    Apr 19, 2011, 01:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marymaine View Post
    You have no legal obligation to inform the father since you have sole physical custody. If you have any matters still pending in the courts, ie: an appeal for custody... You have to notify the courts in writing. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I know how difficult this can be for everyone involved. My mother went through the same thing (in Maine) and she only had to notify the courts because there was a pending case - my dad appealled everything.
    Where are you getting your information from since the law is already clear on this matter and it has been posted in this thread ?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #12

    Apr 19, 2011, 03:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marymaine View Post
    You have no legal obligation to inform the father since you have sole physical custody. If you have any matters still pending in the courts, ie: an appeal for custody... You have to notify the courts in writing. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I know how difficult this can be for everyone involved. My mother went through the same thing (in Maine) and she only had to notify the courts because there was a pending case - my dad appealled everything.
    One of the problems in giving legal advice based on your own experience is that you can't be sure the situations are the same. I don't know how old you were when your mother went through this or how much you know about what actually went on in court. So you may not be aware of what actually happened, only what your mother may have told you happened. We also don't know how long ago this happened so the laws may have changed.

    This site prides itself on the accuracy of the advice given here. While its nice you want to help and clearly, your mother went through a similar situation, but you do the OP a disservice by making a definitive statement that may not apply to the OP. The consequences of not informing, at least the court, of the intended move, could be dire to the OP. So advising her that she doesn't need to inform was irresponsible.

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