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    TikiGod311's Avatar
    TikiGod311 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 19, 2011, 03:29 AM
    She likes me, but freaks out.
    So I'm not going to sit on here and blab about how depressed I am about a girl. Just need a little input from the world on how to handle a situation. So here we go. I met this girl by chance that out of all of the bull**** this world has to offer as women I get one that totally is on par with my tastes, quality of life, and thinking. So much so it kind of scares me. The kind of "Instaconnection" if you will. Well, we talk all the time, and recently things have become more intimate. Not sexual, but intimate enough before that. She is recently leaving an ex of 3 years. I know what you are thinking, RUN RUN FOR THE HILLS! But they have been apart for over 8 months. The one problem... They live together. She doesn't want to be with him anymore and I believe her. The problem I am having is that when we hang out, its awesome until there is room to think, or idle time. And she tells me she feels guilty that she is happy and moving on and he isn't. He was abusive mentally and verbally. I realize this girl is semi damaged goods, but damnit people we can't help who we like. So basically what I am asking. How do I handle a situation where this girl wants to be with me, but is A. Scared, B. Still not "mentally" over her ex. ( And I say that because she doesn't want to be with him, but its still hard after 3 years.) C. She tells me she likes me as much as I like her. She knows that if we hang out things will progress which scares her, but she doesn't want to stop hanging out? So people, I say this to you.

    ***??
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Apr 19, 2011, 04:08 AM

    She's not ready for a relationship and you are her emotional crutch.

    For as long as you allow yourself to be.

    Chances are that once she's over the ex,so will her need for your shoulder to cry on be over and done with.
    TikiGod311's Avatar
    TikiGod311 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 19, 2011, 05:29 AM
    Comment on amicon's post
    Well like I said, she's never needed the shoulder. She's not even crying about it. The situation is different
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Apr 19, 2011, 05:39 AM

    Different from what?

    It has all the signs of a classic'I'm not over the ex,but I want someone to lean on'situation that is ,sadly all too common.

    And she's still living under the same roof as the guy?

    Come on!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Apr 19, 2011, 06:11 AM

    She is recently leaving an ex of 3 years. I know what you are thinking, RUN RUN FOR THE HILLS! But they have been apart for over 8 months. The one problem... They live together.
    You make a lot of assumptions about what she is telling you, I know, you WANT to believe her, but dang guy 8 months, and they still live together?

    You do have enough facts to back off, waaaaay off, and at least ask, why she is still living with him, and when will she move out. I can't believe you accept what she says without question, but you will definitely be running for the hills, sooner or later.

    Yeah she is scared all right, that you won't believe her!! To me, until she was free clear and available, I wouldn't invest a lot of eggs in her basket at all. Matter of fact, I would RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
    blurb's Avatar
    blurb Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 20, 2012, 06:31 AM
    She's still living with the guy and one (or more) time(s) may find herself in bed again with him, if he's mentally abusive, etc. Women are not that strong when it comes to an ex they're not over. I'm sorry to tell you this, but seriously, demand she moves out or you're off. Grow a pair of balls!
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