[grethca]

So my boyfriend tells me today that he is attracted to his female friend, but he doesn't want to "be" with her. I did ask him, maybe I shouldn't of but they have been hanging out a lot lately and I know he used to have a thing for her so I asked if he was still attracted to her. He says he loves me and still wants to be with me he just felt he should be honest. I know this is going to create some problems for us because now I am uncomfortable if I know they are hanging out, and I also worry he might fantasize about her in bed with me... What should I do to get over this. What should he do if anything? I almost wish he would have lied to me.

[Scleros]

Newsflash, this just in: Healthy guys attracted to attractive women, if only physically.

*Gasp* Shocker right? A switch doesn't flip off just because they become involved with you. In fact, he's not really all that involved with you. You are just dating, not even married. So, what should you do? Get over it. What should he do? Back up his words with actions. If a discrepancy is noticed then you can gripe. Otherwise, fantasizing about him fantasizing about someone else is unproductive self torment. Don't you have better things to do? He probably also finds your insecurity and inability to accept honest answers to questions you posed definitely unattractive.

Wow, hope he doesn't see your post calling him a dumba$$, cause I bet his attractive, hot, smart, always so pleasant and friendly, friend never, EVER does that!

[grethca]

Thank you for your slap of reality, and I do regret calling him a dumbass.

[J_9]

Look, just because we become attached doesn't mean we immediately go blind! The human body is a work of art. It is beautiful in it's pure form.

I think you might need to get over your insecurities before this relationship can move forward.

Years ago when my husband and I were dating I mentioned that I thought a particular person was attractive and he got upset (just like you). A saying I used made perfect sense to him and he got over that jealousy very quickly. What was that saying?

... Just because you are on a diet doesn't mean you can't read the menu!!

[Jake2008]

If your boyfriend tells you he is attracted to another woman, and the two of them are hanging out, they are developing and acting on their feelings and their relationship. What that turns into is anybody's guess.

What he has given you, is honest information. What you do with it, is up to you.

I can tell you that if I were in a serious relationship with a man, and he said he was attracted to another woman, and was 'hanging out' with her, I'd be ending the relationship.

No guessing required.

[grethca]

Thank you jake for getting the point that bothers me, that are spending a good amount of time together and developing a relationship! (they work together, so he spends more time with her than me!) I feel he should be developing our relationship

[Cat1864]

Is this the same boyfriend?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ry-482483.html

How long have the two of you been together?

When you ask a question you have to be able to accept the answer especially if it is one you don't want to hear.

If you want a relationship to last, you have to trust the other person. He trusted you enough to tell you the truth. Do you trust him enough to believe him when he says you are the one he loves and wants to be with?

You need to communicate with him. Be honest if it seems like he is spending more time with friends than with you. Work out a compromise. At the same time, don't be so wrapped up in the relationship that you forget you need interests and friends apart from it and him.

Take a step back and look at your relationship. Make certain that your perception of the time and effort he puts into his friendship is not exaggerated by your feeling insecure.

[talaniman]

He was honest with you, so be just as honest as he was. With yourself, as well as with him.