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    jared87mo's Avatar
    jared87mo Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 15, 2011, 04:04 PM
    Is it a big deal or not really?
    Ok so I recently (3 weeks ago) decided to get back with an ex that I hadn't dated since about 5 years ago. He suddenly popped up again this year and he is a different person than before and he is much more mature than he was back then which was the main problem that led to us breaking up in the past. So we started talking again and he laid things out and said that he wanted someone to go out with, have fun, go to the movies, to eat... etc. someone like myself. That only I had ever made him feel good. He asked me for a chance, at first I was a bit hesitant but then thought why not. So we are now dating, yesterday something came up that has me thinking a lot. He sked me if he could borrow $20 for a cell phone that he saw somewhere being that he really needs a phone at the moment. I said sure at first but now Ive been thinking about it a lot and I can't help but to feel bothered by it. Is this really a big deal or not is my question, is this considered a "red flag"? I have so many questions floating around in my head.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Apr 15, 2011, 06:44 PM

    So what type of dating are you doing, what type of fun things are you doing, how many movies have you went to, how many times have you eaten out, and who is paying for all of it.

    How old are both of you, is he working, how does he pay for all of those movies and eating out
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #3

    Apr 15, 2011, 07:25 PM
    "said that he wanted someone" (not you, necessarily)

    Then borrowed $ after 5 years...

    What a romantic.

    Please, Louise.

    Ex's are ex's for a reason. Hes proof.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Apr 15, 2011, 10:12 PM

    He can't afford a $20 phone?
    And he asks you to l e n d him money?

    BIG red flag.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Apr 16, 2011, 07:51 AM

    I don't know if this is a red flag or not, or whether it's the beginning of a pattern or not. Only you can tell if this is something to pay attention to, or just another thing that has raised questions, among many others.

    If your spidey sense is tingling, at least look around to see why. For sure if he doesn't pay you back,ON TIME, then you run like hell for safer ground.

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