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KateW · Apr 15, 2011, 12:53 PM

I don't really know what Im asking for maybe just some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and he is an extreme work out buff, he trains everyday and is ripped head to toe. To be honest he was blessed with insane genetics as well for his father is the same way.. he has had a six pack since he was ten.. anyway... I also like to keep fit and eat relatively healthy and exercise and I am by no means fat but I was given a body with big hips and not a tiny waist line at all. Even at my skinniest I never had a waistline.

We talk frequently about fitness and body builders and we were looking through a magazine with all the hot models and such and kind of half jokingly I was like wow I bet you wish I was that skinny, and he without hesitating told me yeah you could lose a few pounds...

Naturally this is stupid to get mad at because I asked the question but now I think he is always judging me and it just... really really hurt. Really hurt. But what did I expect I freaking asked a question. I don't know...

adam_89 · Apr 15, 2011, 01:14 PM

You shouldn't feel bad about it even though you asked the question, his response was rude and he should have kept it to himeself, he should have known it would hurt your feelings.

Sometimes guys say things without thinking and don't even think about the consequenses or even what they said.

Try not to let this get to you, it will only eat away at you until it turns into a big fight or something, so either talk about it with him or try not to think so seriously about it.

sharper11 · Apr 15, 2011, 01:19 PM

In my opinion, and you already said it, you asked the question. Unfortunately, your BF didn't think before he spoke.

You are in a relationship with a fitness freak (no offense intended there), and so you have to expect a little "pushing" from your BF regarding losing weight.

That being said, no matter what weight you are, you shouldn't feel bad about yourself, it will only make your situation worse. You keep being you. You said yourself "I am by no means Fat.". . So don't feel bad about having some extra weight.

I know plenty of people who exercise all of the time and are very healthy, but aren't models. Unfortunately, our society has been so exposed to models and "perfection" that sometimes we feel forced to fit a certain image.

Just be you. I do not think you BF is judging you, you just happened to ask the question :)

KateW · Apr 15, 2011, 02:45 PM

Yeah both of you are right I guess everyone doesn't know how to go about saying something like that in a nice way, everyone says stupid things once in awhile I'm just use to the sugar coating oh kate no you're perfect.. didnt expect the honesty haha

Thank you!

talaniman · Apr 16, 2011, 06:57 AM

Why did you ask the question in the first place?

Because you wanted reassurance that he viewed you better than the hot model in the magazines, AND you were fishing for a compliment.

Normal in a relationship, but be careful what you ask for, you may get it. The thing is not to let this shake you up, and feel bad about it, and understand why you asked the question, because that and the reaction to his answer tells a lot about you, and how you feel about yourself.

Please take this as a learning moment that shows you what you want to work on in yourself. Not to please him, but to be happy with who you are.

Then you could have popped him playfully upside his head, and told him "WRONG ANSWER!!!!!", so he could have learned his lesson on how to respond to his woman.

Be confident woman, those magazine models are paid to look good. It's their job! Yours is to be confident always, because you are happy.

KateW · Apr 16, 2011, 11:07 AM

As much as it seems like it I wasn't fishing for a compliment, at the moment I was seriously wondering whether he liked my body the way it was you know, I just didn't expect the truth to hurt that bad lol
You are definitely right though I do need to be more confident and know that I cam keep a man even if I'm not 100 lbs! Thank you so much this has made me feel so much better!

Blindsided · Apr 18, 2011, 08:16 PM

My girlfriend just recently dumped me out of the blue. The first thing all of my friends said (guys and girls) was "you could do so much better". I saw her for who she really was; my beautiful love. She could have been put next to Megan Fox; and I would have picked her 100 times out of 100. Lose a few pounds; if you were fishing for complements, it doesn't matter. I believe he could have extended the affect of his point with more tact