[weezy21]

Hi,
I have a problem, which leads to this question Can a gay guy turn straight because of you? I have a fren and he's gay.. I've recently met him its been 3 yrs now, We met at work as servers, Somehow we just started hanging out. Now were like sooo close we do everything together read, party, bowling,movies, hiking, talk on the phone till dawn etc... He use to talk about his gay life and wishing he had a boyfren and just being loved. But now he completely changed since we became close frens. Like we grew feelings for each other but we just don't show it, every time we drink its like the straight side comes out his man voice comes out, his attitude changes, and he always wants me to hold his hand and tries to tell me things when were alone,and he never gets to it I don't know why. It drives me crazy. When he's sober I want to ask him how he really feels about me, I'm just too scared. I have to admit I'm falling for him. When he talks to guys I get jealous, and When he sees me talking to guys or about them he gets mad in a way and walks off, later he'll ask and say "did you mean what you said about that guy being hot" stuff like that. What does it mean? I'm confused? Honestly he's a great guy and I'm really liking him. Any thoughts?? Please I'm lost here and I'm going insane.

[DoulaLC]

If he is truly gay, he won't turn straight because of you. Think of it this way... could someone cause you to become a lesbian?

It is not a choice. You could no more cause him to become straight as someone else could cause you to become a lesbian.

Now, some people are attracted to and comfortable with both sexes, and that certainly could be the situation with your friend.

[talaniman]

I seriously doubt he could become straight because of you, but I know many bi sexuals (and tri sexuals for that matter, try anything sexual at least once), maybe he is one, but also maybe you two are too close, and really do like each other because of that.

I do know that you better be cautious with crossing the lines between lovers and friends, especially when alcohol is at the center of this attraction in any way.

Looks good on paper, but that doesn't make it possible, nor wise. And friends should be able to talk about anything, so have a talk with your friend. He would know best what he wants.

[tickle]

You are beating yourself up over this, I can tell. It seems he is confused too, which isn't a good place for him to be if he started gay. The only advice I can give weezy, is you two have to sit down and talk this through to understand where the other is coming from in this relationship. It may be just a buddy thing on his part. I know for sure, gay guys feel that way about women because they are relating to them on a feminine level. That is all it may be and you are seeing it different because outwardly he is male, but inside he is female. If you get my drift.

Just talk it out so there are no misunderstandings leading to hurt feelings.

Tick

[seville]

Hello,
I know how you feel, I am sort of in the same situation as you, except the guy has a boyfriend but said as soon as he finds someone else he will break up with him.He wants to have children.
I met him at at work 2yrs ago and we hit it off as good friends and we did everything together too and have become best friends to this day. His boyfriend is never there or with his other set of friends! So we end up spending time together most weekends. I feel really comfortable with him we laugh and talk about any topic and personal stuff. I feel an attraction to him and feel he has too! He gets mad too or leaves the room if I'm on the phone to a guy!
The thing is when he was at university he had a girlfriend, so I think he's interested in girls too! A few months ago he said he was fed up with his boyfriend and wants a girlfriend now and hinting to me that he was interested in me but not directly, just mixed signals! The other day we were singing at karoké and we sang a love song together and we looked in to eachothers eyes it was intense and then we looked away!
I honestly think for me, It would be a mistake to make a move or let him know how I feel although once I said all the best men are gay or married!but that's all!
I think it would break our friendship if anything happened and I don't want to loose him as a friend! I think also maybe if something did happen and then he realises he wants to go back to being gay again as a lot of men do after they get married and have kids. That could be very risky and painful. If I were you I would just go with the flow and maybe see less of each other and if he makes a move then fine but be prepared for a complicated relationship! I have seen that happen before gay guys always end up going back to a guy!
Best of luck!

[weezy21]

Thanks DoulaLC when you say it that way it makes it clear. Thanks :)

[weezy21]

Thank you all Again for your answers they all made me see clear and have a better understanding on my situation. It also made me realize a lot of things espically with all your points of views. No all I got to do is be brave and stand up to the plate and work it out. So THANK YOU :)

[weezy21]

Lol sorry about the grammar ;)

[beachloverjohn]

I don't know if this point was made, but I just want to point out that gay men are not gay by choice. That just happens to be their sexual persuasion. You can be the most wonderful and desirable woman in the world, but for a gay man to try to have what some people call a mainstream relationship, {others might call it normal}, he would be living a lie. It can and has been done for various reasons {appearances, career, etc.}, but I don't think that's what you would want.

[AnnaAikee]

Well.. how he thinks and I'm not him or anything like this so I could be wrong when I say people can chang, he could be bisexual, and he couldv been wrong when he originally thought that he was gay.

Good luck

[AnnaAikee]

I meant people can't chang

[john124578]

He can turn straight it is possible but he has to want to change and God is one major source that can help. I stumbled across this website which talks about a experience www.bradengrant.weebly.com