[mommmy2007]

My daughter is 4 years old and her dad has not seen her since she was 5 months old. Last Friday he contacted me. He wants to be in her life and be the father she needs. I grew up w/o my dad and I've never wanted that for my daughter. So I know eventually they will meet I just want to do it the best way for her. So if anyone has any ideas for me I would really appreciate it.

[Fr_Chuck]

I would , if you can anyway afford it, use a counselor, who will first meet with child and father at different times, and arrange a short meeting at first.

Next at four she will not need or want a long reason for why he was not there for 4 years, but she will want it latter in life most likely.

[jenniepepsi]

I went through this. But at 5. my story ended bad, as he dropped out of her life AGAIN at 6 (a year later)
But our kids can surprise you. My daughter asked only once why he wasn't around and I simply said because he couldn't be. Then when he left again, she hasn't had any questions or problems with it. And her psychologist said she is not really affected by it or interested in it.
Though she does ask if I am going to get her a new daddy some day. Lol. I tell her 'maybe some day' :)

Good luck hon.

[MamaJjacks]

Very hard question and I think you are they only one who know what is best for your family. I have a 8 year old son that has never meet his father, but my Hubby has been with us scene he was about 6 months old. He know he has another father. I think about what I would do if that day ever came. I would make sure I know the fathers intentions and make sure he knows your expectations before he meets her. I don't know if you have a man in her life that act as a father to her but in my case he knows that he will come second in my sons life as a father, and it will aways be my sons choice how much or how little he will be allowed to be involved. I also have made sure I stay in contact with him to make sure he is alive and well, But at this point in our life he is not ready to be a father and that's OK we were both very young me 14 him 18. You also have to take into account the people he will be exposing your daughter to. Good luck I hope you and your daughter get what your looking for and he can be the man she needs in her life :)

[mommmy2007]

Thank you so much. I met with him last Saturday so I could really see if what he was telling me was true. So this Friday is the day she will meet her dad. I took a picture of him so she has that now. It'll be a slow process, intrigating him into her life. I do know one thing it'll be a long time before he will take her by himself. He has to earn my trust again and that may take some time especially since this about my daughter.