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    lovehappens's Avatar
    lovehappens Posts: 3, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Apr 12, 2011, 02:58 PM
    One sided love ? How to get over it or should I even get over it ?
    It was the first day of my university I saw this girl, it was love on first sight although she had a boyfriend but I couldn't help myself, later we became friends, after then end of my first semester we started flirting, we used to talk on phone the whole night, I found out that she wasn't happy with her boyfriend, eventually she broke up, I felt somewhat relieved that now she is single maybe I could ask her out now but I wouldn't because she wasn't the same with me there was this wall between us, she is really pretty and because of that other guys were always after her even some teachers were after her. I wanted to ask her out but I never got the chance to do so it was like this that she flirts and a day later she's depressed.

    I didn't know what to do and its not like I'm a bad looking guy or the type of guy who never had a girlfriend before I had options but I wanted to be with her we were out with friends once and she told me that she never wanted to be in a relationship again I felt broken then but I told myself that she just got out of a bad relationship maybe shell get over it so I waited but a friend of mine was helping her out a lot those days I asked him if he was into her he said no I'm not and he asked me if I was I told him everything he said don't worry my friend I'm not into her months later she tells me that they are going out, now maybe this is what love is or maybe she just went out with him because of the pressure of all the guys chasing her and all the pressure from the teachers that were after her, one teacher failed me in his subject just because I was after her although he never admits it but that's the truth, now even when she's committed again its bin 2 months and I still feel the same for her, I don't no what I should do I no by now I should get over her but I can't stop thinking about her.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Apr 12, 2011, 05:10 PM

    She went out with him because she wanted to, and going out is just having fun together, not love really, but your whole problem was you hung around as a friend, but wanted more from someone who had someone else at the time.

    That's something you never do, hang around waiting for a chance for romance with someone that is already in a romance. Now you are caught in the friend zone and have not been able to progress any further. Why? Because you built a fantasy around someone, and reality has caught you off guard.

    Yes get over it, and build a life that you enjoy without her, and be happy with yourself, so you won't continue to be stuck on someone that's not stuck on you. You would have done better by being straight and honest with her in the first place and not played these mind games with yourself. What do they call a friend with a hidden agenda? A false friend. And that's what you turned into. Now leave her alone and get a life of your own.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #3

    Apr 12, 2011, 05:18 PM

    First let me say that this gizmo . Is called a period. Let's start incorporating that into your posts.

    As for your girl, you've made a few mistakes. First you did not fall in love at first sight, and neither did she. You fell into "she's so hot and taken which means she safe and can't hurt me so I'll make her out to be something she's not." Then you allowed her to dump her emotional problems on you. You have to learn that a woman's problems with her boyfriend are not your problems and you do not listen to them. When she broke up and said she wasn't going to date again, that was woman talk for "I know you are interested, and I'm not going to hurt your feelings, but I'm not going to date you either."

    You have allowed yourself to be sucked into her way of thinking and be available on her every need while ignoring your own. You must put yourself first in a relationship, and you don't even have the relationship. Your best bet is to back far away from this woman for the time being and focus on yourself and what you want, not what she wants.
    lovehappens's Avatar
    lovehappens Posts: 3, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Apr 13, 2011, 03:39 AM
    Thank you for posting :)
    I understand now... kind of feel better maybe I just wanted to share what I've been through
    Thankx :)

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