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    LillyBella89's Avatar
    LillyBella89 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Apr 11, 2011, 06:07 AM
    It's been a year and half, but I'm still holding on. What can I do?
    We were friends for a long time, dated briefly, and it ended disastrously. Now it's been a year and a half since we've been anything (even friends) and I still can't get over this. I'm still waiting for him to tell me he needs me in his life somehow. I've tried everything: moved out of state, not talking for months, dating other people... I'm out of ideas.
    Sumitkumar7266's Avatar
    Sumitkumar7266 Posts: 91, Reputation: 48
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    #2

    Apr 11, 2011, 08:57 AM
    Why you want to hurt yourself.. Can't u understand that he moved on.. In life we will get lots of chances to get in touch with new person and that person might love us more than anyone else in this planet.. But everything will be possible only if you will change your mind and accept others.. Lyf is all about how we think and feel.If u will think about happiness you will be happy.. Same way think about the wrong he did it to you and you will start hating him.. Try to act normal with new one and allow yourself to get a new love..
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #3

    Apr 11, 2011, 09:02 AM

    Instead of holding on,let go.

    If you're still holding on,after all that time,there's something within yourself you need to work on.

    Why do you feel the need to be unhappy?

    Don't waste another 18 months flogging a dead horse;accept that this is n o t going to happen and start living your own life.
    Edy020's Avatar
    Edy020 Posts: 72, Reputation: 14
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Apr 11, 2011, 11:37 AM
    You probably miss the friendship more than the relationship. Good friends are hard to find. Why did it end so bad? Who did what to whom? Why can't you be friends?
    Maybe with time, you will resume your friendship. Go on with your life in the meantime. Sometimes we spend too much time worrying about what might have been, and we miss present opportunities. Have fun, enjoy your life. If he is the right one, things will eventually work out.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
    		  
    #5

    Apr 12, 2011, 06:03 AM

    Accept the fact that he doesn't need you in his life, nor do you need him. The last year and a half has proved that. Maybe you still want him, and that's understandable because you miss him.

    Keep building a life on your own, and eventually those feelings will be replaced. Then you can let go completely. It take all of us time to make adjustments in our life.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #6

    Apr 12, 2011, 06:10 PM

    I think you hold on because in a way it's safe. What I mean is, you know that your never going to be with this person again, but by holding on to some false hope that you find your way back together, it empowers a safety feature in your brain. You can't get hurt if you wind up with someone else if you hold onto what you know you can't ever attain.
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