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great1 · Apr 5, 2011, 06:15 AM

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So, me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months now , and we have this love&hate relationship . ; but its mostly LOVE :)).. . But yeah. On Sunday I had given him my email address and my password to my Facebook. Before me and him started anything deep I told him that I would never do him wrong or cheat on him etc and that I'm different from other girls, which I am. I kept my words and I still am today.

He goes threw my message and sees that a good friend of mines, a childhood friend calls me BABY, and the funny thing is I never seen that message until he had said something about it. He's soooo mad that I don't know, he feels that I cheated on him WHICH I Haven't, Ihave been very faithful to him. He says all girls are all the same but, I still don't see the WRONG in this problem . He's mad because a friend of mine (guy friend) calls me baby but he ended up cursing him out but, then he's mad at me . I love him so much that he's the first guy that I have fallen for and that has the key to my heart.

What do I do? I'm confused because he's mad at me for what someone called me, and I haven't said anything to him since January. I only ask about him maybe 3 or 4 times this year, I don't know, I need help

How do you know if that person is the one, and I pray to God everyday about us . I always leave my relationship in Gods hands.. . I put him first through anything!

mystific · Apr 5, 2011, 09:20 AM

If He comes first.. and you leave your relationships up to Him.. then shouldn't you ask Him if that person is the one?

talaniman · Apr 5, 2011, 09:59 AM

No wonder this was a love/hate relationship, he has some deep personal issues to resolve for himself, and at this time, I would say he ain't the one.

Sorry, enjoy yourself, your life, and your friends, without him, and pray for him to get the help he needs.

great1 · Apr 11, 2011, 05:39 AM

Iknow exactlly why he felt like that , he told me that seeing another guy calling me baby on Facebook had him question if I was talking to him in some type of way but youu know I have fallen in love with him for the right reason not the wrongs and I would never cheat on my baby , I never was created to disown my baby or any guy . I never put my guards down for nobody so like I said he was mad and I told him Facebook is just Facebook , guys are always going to be sweet to a pretty lady they see . He told me that I make him feel different like I understands him better than any girl has . But my main man is god always ! Its not like a love hate relationship at that point it did because he was trippen over the wrong reasons

Your so right on that and I agree , ipray about it every night.. . But that's not all I pray about because that's not the important thing in my prayers.. . But I really do agree .

But God is a mysterious God , how would iknow that he answered my pray and know that my boyfriend is that one . Like I want to also know how would you know that person youu love so much is the one?

adviceishere · Apr 11, 2011, 05:51 AM

You know he's the one when you don't need to question if he is or not...

talaniman · Apr 11, 2011, 08:32 AM

like I want to also know how would you know that person youu love so much is the one?

After more than 3 decades, I sure don't have any facts to say she isn't the one, quite the contrary, she has more than passed the test of time, and reality. And still going, and going..

That's my point though many think they have the one but later change there minds or feelings for whatever reasons. I site the 50% divorce rate in America for that reasoning. So they could be the one today, and not tomorrow.

So we never know if they are the one forever, just the one for now. I think we as humans have several ones we can be compatible with on many levels, and degrees, its just we take a risk and commit to THIS one, for now, until life says different.

How do you know if this is the one? That's the one you take a risk to commit to. No, I don't read romance novels.

great1 · Apr 27, 2011, 11:25 AM

God is not going to just give youu the answer right then in there . He takes his time . Sometime he tries to teach others a lesson . But ialways told myself that the person that imarried would be the one that iwould introduce to my mother and would be the on that iwould spend my life with . Ireally love him with all my heart and idon't know what to do just because idon't want to get my heart broken by him.. .

There's also one problem were juniors in high school and we have been talking about college and what college we both wanted to go to ; iwant to go to college up north and he want to stay in the state but want to go to a different area in the state I don't know ireally really care for him and all and idon't want college to mess up what we have ; he plays football and iplay basketball would we even have time for each other?

mystific · Apr 27, 2011, 03:25 PM

God is not going to just give youu the answer right then in there . He takes his time

And love.. also takes it's time. You meet someone, it grows and develops with the relationship and sometimes if you're lucky it lasts a life time.

You're both juniors so do as "He" does and take your time. What's the rush?

DoulaLC · Apr 27, 2011, 03:50 PM

>>>>>God is not going to just give youu the answer right then in there . He takes his time . Sometime he tries to teach others a lesson . But ialways told myself that the person that imarried would be the one that iwould introduce to my mother and would be the on that iwould spend my life with . Ireally love him with all my heart and idon't know what to do just because idon't want to get my heart broken by him

How do you know God isn't going to give you an answer right then and there? He may have been showing you that this guy doesn't trust you. He looked through your messages to check up on you. He thinks all girls are the same, so he is basically telling you he expects you won't be faithful or that you will somehow do something wrong.

As was said, take your time. You will have ample opportunity to decide if this guy is "the one" or not. You will know it by how he treats you, how he speaks to you, and how he shows you respect.

He may be the one... or you may have several boyfriends before you find someone who is a good life partner for you. That is what dating is all about. Getting to know different people, finding out what you like and don't like in someone, what behaviors you enjoy and which ones cause you to worry and wonder.

great1 · Apr 28, 2011, 05:42 AM

Yeah ihave dated other people and seen a lot of differences in people and him ienjoy every last bit of our time , the only thing that kills me is when italk to other guys apparently he doesn't like it . Imean all guys are jelouse in some type of ways ihave 4 older brothers so iknow . Your sooooo right about the God thing because ialways leave my relationship or any other problems in his hands because iknow that he is in control . My auntie told me that if youu feel it in your heart that this person is the one then that person is , now is that true ? B/c my last boyfrnd iknew for sure that those guys were not the one for me so ialready know ; him on the other hand its like iknow that I'm going to spend my whole life time with him and that's how he feels about me . I'm his second girl that he has fallen in love with and he is the first guy that ihave fallen in love with as well like isaid , ialways told myself that the guy that ihave fallen in love with would be the first guy that introduce

DoulaLC · Apr 28, 2011, 02:03 PM

Did your mother not meet any of the other guys you dated?

You do feel it in your heart, but you also have to listen to your head because sometimes one doesn't pay such good attention to the other! Sometimes we know better in our heads, but we are in love with the idea of being in love and all the good parts, that we ignore the little voice in our heads that might be telling us to go slowly and be watchful.

How does it make you feel knowing he doesn't trust you when you talk to other guys? How do you feel about him checking up on you by going through your messages when you gave him no reason to not trust you? How does it make you feel when he says all girls are the same?

Date him, enjoy spending time with him, get to know him more and see what he is like in different situations. You have already seen what he is like over a childhood friend you speak to just a few times a year. I'd hate to think what his reaction would be if you had a guy friend that you spoke to on a regular basis, in one of your classes for example.

Just be watchful for any red flags. For example, if he continues to frequently check up on you, questions you about this friend, or any other guy you might talk to. You don't want to dismiss any red flags, or hope that they will go away with time, if you see them being repeated.

great1 · Apr 29, 2011, 10:55 AM

Noo he will be the first that she meets, but now he is not talking to me, and we haven't talked for a week now, and its very irritating. He still mad at the fact that my childhood friend had his elbow on me and while me and my boyfriend were on the phone I told my childhood friend to "get off of me" and soon as I said it, he was ready to get of the phone with me and every since that night we haven't spoken to each other.

Like I really care for him and sometime I feel its too much for me to handle his way of reacting to things like I don't know I'm getting very bothered and annoyed by it. I try my best everyday trying to deal with this. I wish there were something I can say or do.

I texted him telling him that "im here; i love you & i miss you goodnight" and he would text me back and say "nite".. . Like what's up with that? I feel like I'm too young for that; he tells me he want me to be the mother of his children, and calls me wifey.

Like WHAT I NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT IN THE WORLD I NEED TO DO?

talaniman · Apr 29, 2011, 11:25 AM

You need to ignore him and his bad behavior because when you let him get away with acting an idiot, he will continue to act like an idiot! Don't be blinded by love and high hopes and allow yourself to be disrespect by his childish immature behavior.

That's not love, that's crazy, and first boyfriend or best one you ever had, doesn't matter because they will all treat you as you act.

You have every right to be irritated, and annoyed with this fellow and mad enough to bite his head off when you do see him. Don't worry he will come sniffing around, when he figures you are not catering to his insecurity, and jealousy.

You sure you want him to meet your mom?? I would let him walk my dog to be honest!

DoulaLC · Apr 29, 2011, 12:56 PM

I agree with talaniman... might be best to let this one go. At the very least, let him contact you and see if he either continues to harp on the situation with you childhood friend or if he apologizes for his behaviour and lets the matter drop.

How he acts will let you know whether this one may not really be "the one", and you are better off knowing that now and forgetting about him, or if he might be someone you will continue to date and just see how things go from here on out.

Guard your heart until you know better his level of respect for you and your feelings.

great1 · Apr 30, 2011, 10:55 PM

Soo he did come around to his sense but we really haven't talked about the situation yet , but I'm pretty sure iwill say something because ialways do . But yeah the crazy thing is imight be pregnant by him!

He's my first

amicon · May 1, 2011, 12:37 AM

Then you need to get yourself tested and if you are decide what to do.

Having unprotected sex often result in a pregnacy-law of nature!

How old are you?

Are you still living with your parents?

great1 · May 2, 2011, 05:36 AM

Apparently ithought we had sex but we didn't ididn't lose my virginity , my doctor said icame close to but I'm still a virgin until marriage sooo I'm goood , sooo in that case I'm not pregnant

great1 · May 2, 2011, 05:49 AM

My boyfrined told me on Sunday night that "iwas pushing him away" I don't know what made him say that when isacrifice a lot just to be with him . And ireally don't understand what is really going on , ifeel like maybe he should just get his space or something I don't know but the thing is iwas crying just because ifelt hurt and I'm still thinking that he still haven't got over the fact that my children hood friend had his ELBOW on me ; I'm getting to point of letting go then at the same time I'm trying because I don't know what God is doing to me ijust don't know but ido leave my relationship in Gods hands just because he knows all. . What does that mean when he say “ JUST KNOW THAT YOUU REALLY PUSHING ME AWAY FROM YOUU ! ”

talaniman · May 2, 2011, 07:09 AM

He says that because you are not doing things as he wants it done, and you seem to be under the impression that this is just a normal guy jealousy. Maybe it's a cultural thing, I don't know where you are from, or your religion, but I clearly she him exercising control, and manipulation, and do think he has issues of entitlement to tell you what to do. That's how you are pushing him away, you are denying him total control. After only 7 months?? That's a big red flag, that it will get worse the longer you continue to be with this "ONE"

Just curious, what are the sacrifices you are making to be with him? You got very lucky your sexual encounter didn't result in your hymen (No more virginity) being broken, or pregnancy. Maybe God is protecting you until you can protect yourself a lot better. Maybe he is the first guy you have been so intensely attracted to, but does that mean you have to give ALL of what you have without him proving he is worthy of it. I respectfully submit he has NOT as yet.

How will you know if he is the one you asked? When you both feel the same way and can work together to be happy with each other. Maybe this is but an obstacle, and if it is, better talk about it and reach agreement on how to proceed forward thru this, in a way that makes you BOTH happy, or sorry he isn't the one!!!

Don't let your heart make you blind to the facts. That would be a disaster.

great1 · May 4, 2011, 06:46 AM

Icalled him Monday night and he was talking to me ask if iwas his friend or what ever telling me that he had to take a shower or whatever and isaid imma call youu back when youu get out and he said "imma be busy when iget out of the shower" all iasked is what are youu going to be doing that has to stop youu from talking to me ; knowing me ihad an attitude while iwas talking to him.. . He was like "just know that imma be busy simple as that" now igot real madd and was like why are youu talking to me like that , why youu being so harsh etc ? He was like "your the one that said to keep it real and thats what im doing" and while he was talking isaid youu know what "okayee whatever" and that's what isaid and hung up on him while he was talking . He texted me back and said "don't call me back again !!!!!!" and iwas going to call him back to but he texted me that and itexted and said goodnight.. . That's all but he had me crying for a week now ;