[mtvcarido]

Hello, I need some advise on how to go about filing for abandonment. I am not legally separated nor did I file for a divorce though I have been living separately from my estranged husband since 2007. We have three kids together and they all live with me. I haven't taken any legal action concerning legal and physical custody although in reality I have been the parent who has been supporting the kids. He helps out with our financial needs but even that is not sufficient to care for three kids. I've heard from his family that he is seeing someone else and that she has moved in with him. No efforts on his part to connect with the kids, he comes and goes at our place at his convenient and the financial support that he gives, most of the time we have to get in touch with him to find out if we are expecting funds for each month. I need to know what are my legal rights to file against him and collect financial support on a monthly basis without me and the kids always wondering each month if he'll live up to it. My kids age are 21, 20, and 16. The two older kids couldn't even go to college since we don't have the money and federal aid has been denied due to conflict of information when their father filed his tax return. They are working part time which helps us but unfortunately I have been laid off from work a month ago. The kids and I just want to move on... we just want what's fair and legally due to us. Please help. Thank you

[GV70]

I wonder why you want to file for abandonment instead to file for emergency support hearing.

[ScottGem]

First, before you post a question on a site like this, you should browse around a bit. Very often you will find answers from previous postings. Had you done so you might have found this sticky:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-364259.html

You would have then learned that you can't "file for abandonment". Especially not in this case because he hasn't really abandoned anything, since there is still contact and some support.

I know you don't want to hear this, but frankly you put yourself in this position. You should have filed for divorce with spousal and child support in 2007. And that's what you need to do now. NY recently passed a no fault divorce law, though I'm not sure if that will apply since you want support. But I think it means you don't need to provide a reason for the divorce, so you file for divorce and request spousal and child support. You don't file for abandonment.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well first, he does not even "owe" you anything at this point and could stop any payment to you or the kids anytime he wants at this point.

Also assuming he is on the birth certificate he could also take the kids and not give them back anytime he happens to take them for a visit ( if he visits)

So even if you don't file for divorce, you file for custody of the kids and file for support though the courts.
** does not mean he will always pay it, many parents with court ordered support still don't pay, but now if he does not, you have legal means to try and get it

[kcomissiong]

Any custody or support will only apply to the 16 year old. I doubt that he will be required to support adults who are not attending college. ScottGem is completely correct here... the time for this was in 2007.