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    vampireshadows's Avatar
    vampireshadows Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 9, 2011, 01:16 PM
    Joint Costody Issues
    My wife and I are wanting to file for joint custody (the kind where the child will be aloud to come stay with us at times) the child's father has sole custody with her only being able to visit even though he will let her visit as long as she wants whenever she wants, but I'm not aloud to be around the child per his request when he filed for sole. He filed noglect charges on her but dropped them as he had no proof. She was going through postpartum depression at the time and didn't fight him. She is now pregnant with my child (6months)we have more means to take care of the child then the father with a stable home that I own and a stable job she wasn't and can't be proven unfit. How hard of a fight will this be? He sometimes says he won't fight if she files but then again he has also said he would. Should I get a lawyer before filing or what?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Apr 9, 2011, 01:20 PM

    I would not attempt this without an Attorney. You have absolutely no legal standing in this matter. Your house and employment will not matter if I am reading this correctly and you are not married to the mother.

    Why does the father have sole custody and she has supervised visitation if there were no grounds against her? The other problem, of course, will be post partum depression following the birth of this child.

    The father could not drop neglect charges. A government agency could for various reasons.
    vampireshadows's Avatar
    vampireshadows Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 9, 2011, 01:32 PM
    We are married, he's has the custody because at court she let him have it she thought at the point it was what was best for the child as she herself was feeling like a bad mother because of the postpartum and we weren't married back then. He filed neglect changes because that's what his lawyer told him to do, when they went to court for it he told the court that he wanted them dismissed and they did. The father and her had a verbal agreement that the child would stay with him two weeks when she left the ex while she came to live with me and get everything settled in here then they would start an every other week custody thing without ever filing he was bitter and a few days after that we got custody papers in the mail saying she ran off with another man left the baby behind with no remorse (to which we have witnesses to that agreement) hence the neglect change which was dropped after he had custody
    GV70's Avatar
    GV70 Posts: 2,918, Reputation: 283
    Family Law Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 9, 2011, 01:59 PM

    Quote Originally Posted by vampireshadows View Post
    my wife and i are wanting to file for joint custody (the kind where the child will be aloud to come stay with us at times) the childs father has sole custody with her only being able to visit
    I have to agree with Judy-you are no one in that custody case.It is common a child to have a custodial parent and the other parent to have visitation.
    Quote Originally Posted by vampireshadows View Post
    she wasnt and can't be proven unfit
    It does not have legal matter in such custody proceeding.
    Quote Originally Posted by vampireshadows View Post
    the father and her had a verbal agreement that the child would stay with him two weeks when she left the ex while she came to live with me and get everything settled in here then they would start an every other week custody thing without ever filing he was bitter and a few days after that we got custody papers in the mail saying she ran off with another man left the baby behind with no remorse (to which we have witnesses to that agreement) hence the neglect change which was dropped after he had custody
    A verbal agreement has no values,too.
    Sorry but I still cannot understand... she had just given a birth,she was postpartum depressed and left her child only to be impregnated again?
    vampireshadows's Avatar
    vampireshadows Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 9, 2011, 02:30 PM
    GV70 I think god everyday for my unborn child but it happened unexpectedly my issue here is will it be a hard fight a moderate fight or what? Have these cases happened before? I'm sure they have, and as the child's step father do I not have the right to see him? You know either way we are going to do it I'm just looking for the best way to go about it the arguments to make and so on things I should look for that might help you know anything helps
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #6

    Apr 9, 2011, 02:43 PM

    How hard a fight it will be depends on how hard he fights. The fact is that the mother (your wife) gave up primary custody voluntarily. This will make it much harder to convince a court to reverse her voluntary actions.

    As to whether you should get a lawyer that is a YES!! You mentioned the father has or had an attorney. Also that the attorney was dirty enough to file false charges. Therefore, its likely he will have an attorney this time, maybe the same one. So you need an attorney, to do the filing for your wife (again you have no legal standing).

    Some other issues. The fact that your wife is pregnant again with a history of post partum depression will work against here. Best to wait until the new child is older so she can show this won't happen again.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Apr 9, 2011, 04:02 PM

    You need an attorney , this can be very complicated and just not filing the right motion, or objecting to something can lose you the case

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