[quietcat608]

Asalamalaykum, I wanted some advise.

Me and my motherinlaw do not get on, I asked my husband to sepatre ma and my two kids from her, but he doesn't
Want to leave his mum alone, what can I do?

[Eileen G]

It's not reasonable to ask your husband to give up all contact with his mother, but it is reasonable to establish some ground rules, with the understanding and you and your children are his family now, and his first responsibility is to you.

Talk to your MIL, with your husband's backing, and make it clear that she is part of your family, but you and your husband make the decisions about things that affect you, not her.

[Allah1]

Assalaamalaikum wr wb Dear Sister,

Remember one thing that on a man's list, her number one female would always be her mother & he loves you too because you are his wife, Don't make it difficult for the poor soul rather make it easy for him. Mother has raised him for all these years with all the pain. What if tomorrow your sons wife demands the same thing " wouldnt it will break your heart".
We are muslims and we are taught to respect & love parents to the extent that not even allowed to Say "uff" to them, so wondering how you forgetting all you learnt in childhood. Everything has a solution, so does your problem.. Why would you want to snatch a son & her grandchildrens joy from her life... she has paid & worked... give her the best time.
Once you will start doing that... one day you will realise you are the best friends, that's the best gift you can give to your husband. Not asking to choose between you & her mother... you both are important for him. Hope it helps... make dua, have patience & love her for the sake of allah, she's a mother too like you are... how would you feel if someone separates you from your children.
Jazakallah Khair
May allah bless you & your family.. ameen
Wasalaam wr wb

[quietcat608]

The thing is guys, we seriously don't get on! We don't have much in common... anything she does say is always harsh and negative! With 3 cases of serious mental illness in 5 years of marriage is not good. I don't always tell my hub what she says because he doesn't do anything! I would never stop her from seeing her grandkids. And the thing with my son wanting to take away my daugtherinlaw and grandchildren I sware it wouldn't happen as I would treat her better than I wuold my daughter!