[DREWD50]

I am 23 years old and my girlfriend is actually about to be 30. I have just started back to college a week ago, to complete my Batchelors degree (1.5 years left) and am testing to be a police officer (just a little about me) . My girlfriend, who works in the volatile real estate field as an escrow assistant, just told me today that she is pregnant. I know that this is all my fault because I know she doesn't use birth control ( she claims that it is too expensive for her at 60.00 for six months!) and every time I try to use a condom she says no. We have been doing without for about 5 months now and I should have known better, I am so stupid. Even though I am to blame, I feel that she might have planned this because she said things prior to this revelation like "I'm not getting any younger" and "having a kid wouldnt be a bad thing". Due to school I only make about 1200 a month, and she works two jobs and still lives from paycheck to paycheck, she cannot afford a kid right now and neither can I, very bad idea. She is older than me, so she may be ready in ways I am just not, so it really is most unfair for me. I really don't want to be with her anymore, but I want to do the responsible thing for the child since I am partly to blame. Ever since she told me the news four days ago I have not spoken to her because I don't want to say what I am thinking because it may be rude, until I can come to terms with this. What should I do ? :confused: thank you

[JoeCanada76]

First of all, you both decided to have sex without protection. You can not blame her, you could have put the condom on anyway. As far as having a child. You are an arsehole for not talking to her. Why would you do that. You have a relationship with her, now your going to have a child with her. I do not care who you are nobody is 100 percent ready for a child. No one is always financially secure before having a child. Can not wait forever unless you never planned to have a child but there it is right in front of you and whether you realize this or not. It is obvously the right time because you both created a child together. A loving, caring, breathing innocent child. So your getting paid, going to school. Her working two jobs, honestly you have no choice but to be ready. You just made her feel like sh%$ because you do not want to take responsibility. Your trying to pass off a lot of the blame to her, but I am here to tell you that your full of it.

What you should do? BE A MAN. Talk to your girlfriend. Take the steps of being a loving and caring person, but if you can not even do that with your girlfriend I am wondering how you are going to be with a child. LOVE IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN MONEY. Taking care of a child that both of you CREATED TOGETHER is important. SO STOP THINKING OF YOURSELF. Think about your girlfriend and your future baby.

Joe

[ordinaryguy]

You're going to be a parent for the rest of your life. Get used to it. Get over it. It's not about you or what you want anymore. You're neither one to blame, but you are both responsible. You can choose to be an absent father, but you can't choose not to be a father. You already made that choice when you decided to have unprotected sex. Talk to your girlfriend immediately. You have plans to make. Stop freaking out and get busy. It's not the end of the world, it's the beginning of a new world. Relax, it's not so bad.

[talaniman]

As the other guys have pointed out, you have a lot of work to do and where I can relate to the confusion and FEAR, it does no good to try and blame someone else for a mistake(?) you had a big part in. Use the time and energy to get over the negative feelings and grow up and take care of your responsibilities like a MAN. This is a lifetime thing and best to get busy. This will be the best thing you ever do and will really hit home when your kid says thanks for being my DAD. That's worth more than all the money in the world.