[gracedescended]

I dated a girl in high school and was with her for four years. Through that time our relationship has lost meaning since kids and hit had become harder and harder to communicate. I went to college for aero-engineering and I drove her to get into college too. She was intimidated by my grades and drive and also by my lifestyle; where, she had little money and support from her family. She began to change little things like makeup, brighter nails, silly things. Then, she started getting tattoos and belly rings. All very weird to me but I supported whatever made her happy, reluctantly. Then she always wanted to hang out with friends but acted like I was always telling her who to hang out with and controlling her. I did give her suggestions, but only to help her as a person. One day she told me that she felt that I wasn't being enough of a boy friend, that she was unhappy, and that she wanted to end our relationship. Big shock for me even though we had past arguments of such but always fixed them in the end. So, now I wonder how to feel. I want to believe that she really benefited me by leaving. I know she wants to go to a university but I am pretty sure that all of her dreams were just competing with mine and actually unrealistic for herself (not enough money, drive, family support, etc... ). I think if she lowered her goals now, she would feel less than me? Ultimately, our relationship was driven on fumes of early infatuation and not being alone (she had insecurities when young). However, now that all that is done she may have gained the confidence to no longer need me for support? I feel bad, and not so special, being broken up with. But I want to believe that I am on the right path, even if she left me for something "better". What do you think about all of this? Thanks!

[amicon]

She changed,you probably changed too and feelings change.

I think you live your life,doing your thing and stop wondering about the whys and the wherefores.

You're on the right path when you create a balanced life for yourself,with work,friends,family and interesting things to do and enjoy.

Leave her in the past-look forward to the future.

[watermelon5050]

Nobody can really tell you how to feel. I think that looking at the bigger picture can sometimes be helpful. Everything happens for a reason. You sound driven and like you know what you want. She sounds confused and like she's still trying to figure everything out. Sometimes it's okay for some to go. Don't feel not special by being broken up with. Like that quote goes, "some people should be around your entire life and some should just make an appearance". Thank her for her appearance but it sounds like you've got better things ahead of you.

[gracedescended]

Thank you!

[gracedescended]

Agreed, time to move on. Thanks.

[talaniman]

Fun while it lasted but its over and in time you will be to busy with your new freedom, all those feelings will fade to the back of your mind.

[gracedescended]

Threads merged


Hi, I was recently broken-up with and I don't really have any friends. You see, I was with a girl for four years and she was my only friend. She had many friends and was very social, and when she left "we grew apart" she became more and more interested/like in these friends. I wouldn't say that I was codependent on her but I am having a hard time not having someone to talk to sometimes (which I imagine is normal). Yet, I have never had many friends nor have I ever desired to be very social. I'm an introvert of sorts. So my question is if it's normal to make your partner your only friend? I'm sure she is off laughing about nothing to her friends in bliss so that is why I am having a hard time with all this. Thanks :)

[talaniman]

You are just faced with making adjustments to a changed situation. What's normal to you, may not be normal to any one else, it just is the way it is.

You are the one to say what normal for you, and I see nothing wrong with making a new friend or two. Its nice to have someone to talk to.

But that requires you to reach out, beyond your comfort zone, and connect with other humans. If you so choose.

It's a lot easier leaving behind old memories, by making new ones that are even better. Hey break ups suck any way, but you can make them a lot more pleasant by enjoying doing your own thing. If a bottle of Jack Daniels and a tattoo is not your thing, maybe a few lectures on the fine points of cold fusion are.

The point is to get busy and build a life that you enjoy. There doesn't have to be any logic in what you enjoy, or how you do your thing. The possibilities are endless.

[gracedescended]

"If a bottle of Jack Daniels and a tattoo is not your thing, maybe a few lectures on the fine points of cold fusion are." Haha, you're too funny; yeah cold fusion any day thanks a bunch! :D