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talaniman · Mar 31, 2011, 07:27 AM

Leave the girls alone, and fill the void with activities that make you happy. By my reckoning, its been 3 months, after the 3 month relationship ended.

Frankly speaking, you are much too carried away by feelings, because you want the good, but haven't coped with the bad. Life doesn't work that way, you ave to deal with both good, and bad, and keep moving forward.

If you don't... you get stuck... and start drowning in your own crap!

Elloganias · Mar 31, 2011, 08:23 AM

I'm just not sure what to do with these feelings. I want there to be some way for it to be easier. I'm telling you I'm feeling these feelings, but I'm not telling her, or anyone else. I know I have some feelings for her. I want to act on them but I'm not. I see something in her eyes. I'm not sure what it is yet. I want to try and understand her. Why I'm interested in her. But no other girl... :( confuses me. Yesterday was... Intense for me... A lot of thoughts because it was her birthday.

I just. I don't Talk to her. Cause it's not me wanting to be friends. It would be me wanting to be more. I see her a good two three times in the hallway and for about two hours after school in theater. I'm trying just to ignore her. To try and forget. But the emotions I feel are hard to ignore. If not compassion, anger. If not guilt, sorrow. It just sucks.

Homegirl 50 · Mar 31, 2011, 08:35 AM

There is no easy.
You have feelings. Have them and then get busy, don't dwell on them. That was a 3 month span of time, it's been 3 months since.
You're not ready for other girls but you can do other things. Don't worry about what she is thinking. It is not important. All that does is make you think about her more. She has moved on, so should you.

Elloganias · Mar 31, 2011, 03:59 PM

What do you mean by "have them and get busy" these feelings haven't exactly faded away like everyone told me they would. And I am busy. I have school and the theater for a good 4 hours after. Don't even have time for xbox during the week anymore. However theater seems to have backfired tremendously in that respect because I see her so often.

Homegirl 50 · Mar 31, 2011, 04:06 PM

It means stop dwelling on them. Stop wondering what she is thinking, stop trying to understand her. There is nothing to understand except she is done.
I would assume school is just about over and there will be no more theater and you won't be seeing her anymore. That will make it easier.

talaniman · Mar 31, 2011, 04:20 PM

Can't you see because you HAVE to see her so much is what keeps those feelings stirred up? That alone makes No Contact whatsoever impossible, and slows the healing process down, way down. For you, and others in the same situation, you have to be the quick learn of coping with your feelings, and not letting them control your life, actions, moods, or day.

Generally it requires focusing on something else, and refusing to be distracted. Like a master chess player, who has to shut the world out, to gain advantage over his opponent. Or shaking up your routine a bit. For a while these are your strategies to cope with your feelings, like an office romance that goes wrong, and you still have to work with them. Same deal.

You also have to make time in your busy schedule for something that doesn't involve her, like some week end plans to have some fun. Just me, enjoying yourself is the best way to pass the time, and time is what you need, as you grow and learn how to deal with your own feelings, and seek to make new memories to replace old ones.

Its hard if you have never had to do it before, that's why you keep sticking to it. Its okay to fake it until you make it. As long as you stick to trying.

Elloganias · Jun 5, 2011, 08:31 PM

... Been I really don't know how long. I've lost a good 50 pounds and a few of my grades have dipped but not so much that my parents inquire about it. It's almost summer. But I still have thoughts of her. Thankfully not everyday. Not all the time. But scads here and there, potholes in the road of my life. But they can be really deep. Like just now. I almost started crying... Which is why I'm writing this. I've tried hating her, it's worked pretty well. Just give her a friendly nod in the hallway and then pretend she doesn't exist. But I'm afraid. Right up there with crying, not a manly thing to do. I'm afraid If I stop hating her I'm going to fall for her again. And that scares me.. I don't know what to do. I just had vivid visions of the minute that probably sealed the deal of her breaking up with me. And it feels incredibly like my fault... I just. I feel like ****. Plain and simple. And I haven't stopped feeling that way.

talaniman · Jun 5, 2011, 09:09 PM

Some need more time than others, considering how hard you fell in such a short time, but as you make more good times for yourself, old times fade. Just get those grades up, and keep on truckin'.

Its hard sometimes, but you never quit on yourself.

Elloganias · Aug 11, 2011, 10:48 PM

I still love her,
It feels... Well.
Living in a
World so cold
Wasting away
Living in a shell
With no soul
Since you've gone away
Living in a world so cold
Counting the days
Since you've gone away

amicon · Aug 11, 2011, 10:58 PM

Are you keeping busy?
Though it's normal to have some of these feelings,after 7-8 months you should be able to leave the mourning behind and start enjoying your life.
Don't make suffering a lifestyle.
It's unhealthy.

talaniman · Aug 12, 2011, 10:09 AM

Nice prose, but what are you doing about being stuck?? I still love all my exes, so what, the reason I had so many, was because I kept moving forward, not back. Now I have grand kids, and look back with fond memories, but keep moving forward.

Are you sitting on that pity pot?? Get off it if you are.

Elloganias · Aug 12, 2011, 10:41 PM

Tomorrow, marching band camp, five days, we will be eating sleeping and working so close, I didn't see her for two months yet I still thought of her, I'm not afraid, I'm sad.
I still with all my heart wish to be together with her. No other girl comes close to her, yes there are girls hotter, smarter or more like me, but I've felt nothing toward them. Other girls talk to me, make subtle advances but I feel nothing. Nothings impossible.
There are millions of parallel universes out there. And in one for sure, we are happy together, who is to say it isn't this one. I don't know if it is or it isn't, but that's the fun, not knowing.
I made her a promise. And I keep my promises. I can see her still, crystal clear, in her homecoming dress, right after I kissed her for the first time

Elloganias · Aug 21, 2011, 10:35 PM

Rebirthing now
I want to live for love, want to live for you and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Rebirthing now
I want to live my life, want to give you everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow

Elloganias · Aug 21, 2011, 10:41 PM

No contact has failed, I didn't see her, hear her, for almost two months, but I didn't stop thinking about her. Maybe it's the music I've been listening to, even my parents commented on how it's been getting steadily darker.

I still love her.

It's a flame that won't go out, no matter what happens, it's a never-ending wick soaked in my essence. Frozen to a block it still burns. Without sustenance it still burns. Dripping to the bone it burns.

I'm lost, and I only see one light.

talaniman · Aug 22, 2011, 09:11 AM

Rather dramatic, but nothing changes, you stick with NC, and if all you want to do is sit in a corner and listen to depressing music, then don't blame any one but yourself for failure.

If you quit doing the right things to build a life that you enjoy for yourself that's a failure. So get off the dark pity pot and do better.

Go for 3 months, then 4. Get my drift? Don't fail yourself just because its tough!