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irby85 · Mar 28, 2011, 08:06 PM

I am a 26 year old female with anxiety and depression issues I have struggled with my whole life. I have a almost 3 year old son. I have struggled since he was born as a c.n.a. to make it paycheck to paycheck. His father is a deadbeat that abused me physically and emotionally and was a stay at home dad throughout my child's three yrs. I left him when my son was a 5 mo old for putting me in the hosp. I went back to him 10 mo later after he completed his probation and court ordered anger management. Now, a year a half later I'm back in the same situation.he hit me again so I made him leave this time. I'm in this apt. 600 a month for a 1br. A closet really. I always worked 50+ hrs a week and I am also a full time student with a 3.5 gpa and only a year left in school. He caused me to lose my job and I had to take a $7hr pay cut to take the only job offer I had.I now have no babysitter. I have no family that can help. 70 families ahead of me for daycare assistance. No assistance offered through week or school. I will be fired tomorrow because I can't go to work and have to drop out of school with $4000 in student loans. I can't file bankruptcy and lost my license because I couldn't afford the ticket I got when I lost my car insurance . I love my son more than life itself and the though of giving him up rips my heart out. I'm bawling. But isn't it selfish to keep him when I know I will homeless and without food very soon. I should probably mention that I already looked and the shelters are full, none of my family will take him, his dads family are all druggies. I just feel like I have no other option short of prostituting but then I would just end up losing him anyway. I have nothing to sell or pawn. PLEASE HELP. ANY IDEAS TO HELP ME KEEP MY BABY. IM A DESPERATE MAMA.

AK lawyer · Mar 28, 2011, 09:36 PM

Is your child's father paying child support?

joypulv · Mar 28, 2011, 10:27 PM

Welfare.
Or another single mom or two to share babysitting and an apartment.
I'm sorry this happened.

irby85 · Mar 29, 2011, 06:59 AM

They give me about 100 a mo in food stamps. It helps but doesn't really go that far. My son also has medical coverage but that isn't going to help at this point either. I don't know anyone here. I have asked around a bit, unsuccessfully.

irby85 · Mar 29, 2011, 07:01 AM

He is ordered to pay 35 a week but doesn't have a job and is currently avoiding the police to avoid being picked up on 3 felony warrants.

Hellyers · Mar 29, 2011, 11:39 AM

Look to a church for help. Some can also direct you to further help with other organizations. Welfare and low income housing are options as well, until you get on your feet. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. Since this man is abusive: you should never leave your son with him. And if you know of his whereabouts: turn him in to the police. There are also organizations for abused women and they might be able to help somehow. It might also be more helpful if you stated the state in which you are now living.

Hellyers · Mar 29, 2011, 11:42 AM

BTW, I once was in a similar situation in Ohio. I ended up in a shelter with my 3 small children. Now I have 2 more kids and am remarried to a wonderful man. Don't give up!
If your family is reluctant to help you- perhaps it's because they feel you haven't truly severed ties with this man. That is something you need to do- for the safety and well being of both you and your son. You are worthy of a happy life!

irby85 · Mar 30, 2011, 08:03 AM

I live in Indiana. I get all the assistance I qualify for and there is no section 8 here. I live in a small town outside of indy where there isn't many low income families or programs to help them. I have called two churches I have attended and everyone just keeps telling me to get on welfare. I lost my job. I have told the police what town he is in and his dads address but I don't know where he is staying.

irby85 · Mar 30, 2011, 08:10 AM

Its not that my family just won't help.they really cant.my mom is raising two special needs kids by herself, one that has a child herself. She works ridiculous hrs as a nurse as well. She wants to help but can't without it affecting the people she is caring for. And the rest of my moms family won't have anything to do with me because my ex is african american and my son is biracial. I have had a lots of problems with racism in this town. Which is why I didn't origionally put this info in my question.and my ties are severed. I don't speak to or see him at all.

Hellyers · Apr 4, 2011, 07:48 AM

I'm sorry that you are having to go through such a rough time. I will keep you in my prayers. Don't give up, you will make it.
I am at a loss to other suggestions. KEEP asking for help, someone- somewhere will know how to help or will know others who can help.
I am really sad that racism is holding your moms family back from helping you. It is their loss and you don't need those negative people around your son anyway.
Keep fighting, keep your head held high. You've made it this far and there is only a little further to go until you and your son are doing better.
I honestly believe that your state of mind, is what determines success or not.
Never Ever consider a crime to support your child. That will only end up destroying you and your family.
I wish you the best of luck.