[kskalyani]

Dear Sir,
My problem is something very complex problem for me.
I am in a relationship with a married woman.she is 30 years old and I am 27 years single guy.
We met at a function and I really impressed with her feelings and she loves me a lot.
We started talkking phone and now we totally depends on each other but she has started avoiding me by showing that she is busy with some work and also she likes to be with her husband more.
Her husband treats her like a property and for use inm the bedroom only but she likes this also.
She has started showing me that her husband is first for her and I am second.but on other side she says that I am the most important person in this world for her.
To be with her husband is her duty so I habve to accept it.she explains me like this.
If I break this relation she might get mad or hopeless in her life as there is no one in her family who cares about her..
Please suggest me what should I do in it.?

[adviceishere]

Do you want to spend your life sharing a partner? Because that's what your headed for, she has expressed to you that she has no intentions of leaving her husband for you. Her husband treats her like property? Of course she's going to say that to you! She's telling you what you want to hear.

Please don't start telling us how much you love each other and need each other, she doesn't need you and if she loved you then she would give herself to you and you only. Sorry that's the truth. And your no better sleeping with a married woman! Find your own partner and leave this marriage alone! You have no rights... you will never have a right to an opinion or to moan when you intentionally have an affair...

[amicon]

She's married,she's off limits.

She is also cheating on her husband,and I would take anything she says about their relationship with a large pinch of salt.

Walk away and find someone who is single and able to date you without cheating on a partner.

[talaniman]

A guy who can't control himself, ends up getting controlled. This is not complex, its very simple, leave her alone.

Stop being a wuss for a married woman. She is a cheater, and cheaters LIE to get what they want. Have some dignity, and self respect about yourself, and stop believing her lies.

[I wish]

How would you feel if you were married to someone who had a booty call on the side?

[kskalyani]

Thank you very much for your reply sir...
I know her very well...
She is spoiling her life deliberately and I don't want it..
She is very innocent girl but unfortunately fallen at wrong place and she knows it very well but now she has accepted that as a fact but she can not leave without me.
She can not leave her husband becoz its 10 years of time frame and has 2 kids so it is not possible now.
Else she is ready to marry with me even...
She likes to be with me but she tells usually to me that whatever comes under my duties will also part of my life and I have to do it... whether I like it or not...
So she has requested me that *** try to understadn her and give support...
But I feel that she should also adjust from her side also... if she really loves me...
Please don't get me wrong and advise me truly as I really stuck with this issue sir.
Waiting for your reply

[amicon]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said-she is controlling you,she is married,has kids,she's cheating on her husband and you really should leave this totally unhealthy situation.

I doubt anyone else will come along and give you different advice.

[kskalyani]

Thank you very much for your kind reply..
Anyone else *** share your viewss.
I need your help *** all..
I am going to mad ***...
It is very pathetic situation for me...

[kcomissiong]

If she wanted to be with you, she would leave.

If she loved you, she would be with you and not her husband.

If she loved her children, she wouldn't be risking tearing her family apart.

If you loved yourself, you would run in the other direction.

[kskalyani]

Thank you very much for all replies friends...
She is not ready to leave me.. and we really love each other...
At present we are on the point from where we can not move back(beocz to live without each other is impossible)and to be together is also impossible (society is not ready to marriege with a lady having 10 years of marriage life)not my parents also..
We want to be in this relationship can't separate plese suggest any suitable way so we have to suffer minimum..
I also want to quit from this but can't .
I am not able to find reason behind it,
*** don't mind and try to understand my situation and emotions...
Waiting for your reply..

[talaniman]

Until at least one of you can control yourselves, or show some common sense, then you will pay the consequences of your actions, ruin, disgrace, and all around you who are effected will be scarred for life.

[kskalyani]

OK friends.. I agree with your suggestions..
Now please help me how can I control over myself..
Every time I miss her and wait for her phone and really feeling bad for myself...
I can't live without her...
Every time I think to commit suicide which I should not think...
*** help me now to come out of this situation and reenter into my original life..
Earlier I was joyful and happy person but now without her I can not think even for a moment
This is what I have shared with all of you honestly..
Waiting for your reply soon..
Regards,
Kumar

[amicon]

Kumar, only you can help yourself-by making your mind up to walk away from her.

Make that choice,do it and stick to your decision.

[talaniman]

You need a life without her in it. Sure its hard, but no harder than following the path you are on.

[kskalyani]

Dear friends...
Above question I am still with the same problem
As per suggeestd by all senior friends...
I called her and left her to end our relationshsips.. but at that night she drank a lot and harrass herself a lot I came to know that so I again continue with the same but I am not feeling comfortable as she again started the same thing...
For her husband is the most if she find some time than she spares the same with me.
She knows that how I love her so may be she is doing this..
Please advice me in a harsh words but help me to come out of it..
TALANIMAN AND AMICON Please HELP ME

[kcomissiong]

You have gotten really good advice already. No one can make you actually put it into practice. You KNOW that she is using you and that she doesn't care about you. You have been told to walk away from this married woman, to have no contact, to find an activity to help distract you, to take time to heal, and to not allow yourself to be kicked around and used by her. You choose to continue with the same behavior. There is nothing else anyone can tell you to make you walk away. Either walk away to the support of friends and family, and the distractions of life that will allow you to heal, or keep doing the same thing and take what you have been getting. You know the truth, YOU have to make a decision.

[Homegirl 50]

This is something you have to choose to do. It would be hard but you must leave this woman alone. She is using you.
If you want a life, you must leave her alone.
Go no contact, meaning no call no text no nothing. Remove yourself from her life.

[talaniman]

Until you make a decision to leave her alone, stop ALL contact, and get a real life for yourself with friends, family, and activities that make you happy, you will keep torturing yourself.

This is your moment of truth to take positive actions for yourself, and stop being a sucker for a bored housewife.

[kskalyani]

You are right my dear seniors...

I am trying my level best to come ou of this..
We had a great time of last one year and I am not able to forget the same...

I have given my virginity to her... because of her husband knws now she has putting her steps back.. its a cheating with me.
I can't tolerate this... I want to teach her lesson of life that she has to paid...
She is enjoying with her husband now by proving that she is in no fault and m suffering this is not acceptable for me seniors

[kcomissiong]

You knew she was married right? You made a choice to be with her anyway, right? She didn't do ANYTHING to you, you made a bad choice, and unfortunately, pain will be one of the consequences. One of the parts of healing will be accepting your personal responsibility in this.