[bluebyyou]

Threads merged


My ex partner and I split around 8months ago because of his behaviour, very selfish. We previously lived together but decided to split and live apart but see each other. We didn't split up on amicalble terms and I jumped straight into a new relationship. The new person I'm with has been to heavy and serious from the start. Talking marriage and when I don't reply to texts he thinks I don't want to be with him and he even checked the closet at his home and said why did I take a few of my belonging back to mine. He seems to be a bit weird and very suffocating. Ive begun to think about my ex partner a lot over the last month and I'm missing him and the fun we had together. I know the past is the past and we can't get it back, we have contacted each other but not really spoken, quick polite email to each other. Im not so sure I should be with the new guy in my life as he's got too heavy too quickly. Im so unsure whether to end this new relationship because he's a great guy and would do anything for me but I feel we don't gel. He very serious and I'm not, he doesn't see the funny side of life and he's getting me down. In other words the sparkle has gone, should I stay and try to make a go or cut my loses. The more I dwell on it the more I get down. Maybe I miss my ex because he was a laugh, but I'm finding it hard without him in my life

boyfriend too clingy
Ive been with my boyfriend for about 6months and he's very clingy and insecure. Hes constantly wanting to see me and I feel suffocated. He even texts me constantly and the other day because I didn't reply as I was busy he said that I didn't want the relationship and it was OK if I wanted to end it and he would bring the rest of my personal things back to my apartment. Before this I emptied the closet of a few of my things I had at his that needed laundering and empty bottles of shampoos etc that needed bining and he asked my why I had taken my things and even checked that I had left stuff so that he was sure I was coming back. Its beginning to worry me he's in his 40s. Im thinking of ending it because I've already had emails previous to this about his concerns that I don't seem to need him. The more he does this the further its driving me away.

[amicon]

You need to heal after a breakup,that's why rebounds seldom work,nor are they fair on the rebound.

The guy you're involved with is far too serious,too soon.

You need time to move on from the breakup,and you need to be single to get back to your own life.

You don't have to have a boyfriend to be happy;you shouldn't have a boyfriend unless you can be happy with yourself on your own.

[talaniman]

A proper healing means be single, and build a life that you enjoy without depending on either of these guys to make you happy. With friends and activities to look forward to, and taking full advantage of all your options and opportunities to enjoy a great life.

Then you can heal, and not be tempted to go back to past failures by present unhappiness.

There is a great advantage to the healing process, when there are no extra baggage to weigh you down, or awkward strings attached to hold you back.

[vanheart]

Im sure you've heard the term rebounding.

Your last guy was selfish. This one is needy.

Don't rush into a relationship just because. Be aware.

Take a real hard look at everything. Past & present. Give yourself some time to figure it out. Grow.

Sometimes its best to not even look. Just be.

Its unfair to get serious with someone that your not serious about. Do some soul searching. Then use your gut.