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Syke2011 · Mar 27, 2011, 06:02 AM

Hey guys I was hoping someone could shed some light on my situation. I'm sorry about the detail.

I was with my girlfriend for about 7 months (short I know) we got on so well apart from the past few weeks.

I had some making up to do after a drunken outburst at a party, I upset her with some of the stuff I was saying, lets just say it was a joke gone too far. I found it difficult to make time for her after this incident as I had work and university issues to deal with. Which only added to her annoyance.

Then when I was out shopping I bumped into an old ex of mine, she gave me her number I text her a few days later. It was just a simple apology which she accepted and the conversation ended there. For some reason I felt VERY guilty for texting my ex and distanced myself from my girlfriend even more for a few days. I told her that I had text her and she said it was OK. By this point I had even more making up to do and I noticed that my girlfriend became very ratty with me and after a week or so of this I in turn became ratty with her.

In one of our last arguments she said that I didn't deserve her and that it was over. This argument was through texts, a few days go by I send her a few texts which are coldly received so I decided to show up at her house. As soon as she saw me she said she didn't want to be with me to which I said OK but after she had got that off her chest it was pretty much as it always is when we are together... we sat on each other, held hands, shared the same cup etc she rejected all my attempts at kissing her but she randomly kissed me in the end.. when she did things became a bit hot and heavy but she stopped things and said I should hook up with someone else that night (throughout the whole time I was there she kept saying sorry and that she could not be with me)

I left shortly after this, she called me late that night after she had been out asking me where I was at etc I was at a girls house and she became hysterical. I told her I would phone her back when I was home because that was just an awkward situation anyway (being at that girls house). I left immediately and we spoke on the phone for most of the night. We both cried she said I shouldn't have gone to the girls house I told her I would fix things between us and she said I couldn't.

Now I can't eat or sleep properly and I'm unsure of what to do. The answer is to leave her alone right?

adviceishere · Mar 27, 2011, 06:09 AM

I don't really understand why you would be at another girls house hours after things ending with you girlfriend? Can you explain that to me?

Syke2011 · Mar 27, 2011, 06:13 AM

Nothing went down with me and the other girl, I guess I wasn't thinking properly.

adviceishere · Mar 27, 2011, 06:18 AM

Sorry that was for my own curiosity! I guess if she says things can't be fixed then you have to just leave her be, no contact is the best way to start and stick by it, get busy (not with the ladies LOL) make future plans and start looking after yourself, you will get hungry soon enough LOL, but seriously just about everyone here knows its easier said than done, it will get easier though :)

Syke2011 · Mar 27, 2011, 06:38 AM

I just don't want her to think that I don't care.. but on the other hand I don't want to harass her. Deleting her out of my life seems cruel.

adviceishere · Mar 27, 2011, 06:43 AM

Well you could send her one last message saying that you don't want her to think you don't care for her because you do and that your no longer going to get in touch for fear you will become an annoyance and you would like to be friends in the future, and goodbye, then the balls in her court, leave it at that.

talaniman · Mar 27, 2011, 11:37 AM

Harshness Warning

You don't play kissy face with an ex, and act as you did before, without talking, and resolving your issues young guy. That's a mixed signal that always ends in drama, confusion and hurt feelings. Yeah it might be hedging your bets having the attentions of another while you are on hold from the last one, but look at where it gets you, confused and not knowing which way to go.

This was all about your own lack of being able to lay it out for this female, and get a resolution going forward. Frankly, it still is, then you would know where you both are headed, and even if you are going in the same direction, or not.

Handle the unfinished business, before you start other projects, if you get my meaning.

Syke2011 · Mar 30, 2011, 11:39 AM

I don't think you were harsh in what you said. You're right I feel awful about everything.. I should have stepped up to the plate sooner. Its been a few days.. she ignores my efforts of trying to talk things over with her. The last thing she said to me was that I drive her insane and she hates it. Really wish I knew if this was actually the end of things properly so I could get my sh!t together and move on, but I don't want to 100% sabotage things so I'm stuck in limbo :(