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    Veetiny's Avatar
    Veetiny Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 25, 2011, 09:16 PM
    Doubts about a relationship breakup
    I knew and had a crush on this guy for 3 years and we finally started dating. We dated for just under a year and I had to move to a different state for school. After that we got in fights all the time and we were just having problems communicating over the distance. I came back for a visit and we decided to end the relationship on good terms so that we could still be friends.

    Well a week went by and everything just feels wrong, it's more than just missing him. I've had one other break up like this before but it didn't feel like I was wrong. I know I'm young and the feelings are still raw and everything like that. But if I just missed him I'd be fine and let it go, but every time I think about how we broke up it feels like I had a choice between one thing or the other, and I choose one but I know deep down I really wanted the other one. What should I do? D:

    Again I know I'm young and should be having fun and all that jazz
    trying1234's Avatar
    trying1234 Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #2

    Mar 25, 2011, 09:34 PM
    First, if you haven't done this yet, see if you can find some people to talk to. Relatives, if you are on good terms. Friends, those that you can trust. Even strangers who don't know much about you and therefore won't possibly burden you with their knowledge.
    Second, in analyzing a relationship it is good to think about both sides. How do you think he feels about the relationship? Is he comfortable in how it ended off? If so, then this may give you reason for reanalysis for how much you view the relationship.
    Also, a week may seem very long, but in terms of lifetimes you will have many more weeks. Spend your time outside if you can. Excercize. Immerse yourself in crowds if you can. These will put you outside of your "comfort zone" and get you into a more objective mindset. In this way you may better view how your relationship is. At the very least it will give you some fresh air which is always good :)
    Veetiny's Avatar
    Veetiny Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 25, 2011, 09:57 PM
    Thank you, I try being outside a lot, I go to college so I'm in class or studying. The reason we ended it was because we were worried about arguing once I went back, we know we both still care about each other though. Thanks for the advice, I'll see about spending more time outside and with friends ^-^
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Mar 26, 2011, 08:02 AM

    Break ups are hard at first, and a week is just the beginning of coping with those feelings of regret.

    Be patient, and have fun, as you do your thing without him. Sometimes the healing process is a long one.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #5

    Mar 26, 2011, 08:35 AM

    It sounds to me that it was premature breakup. I think that you had trouble expressing yourselves to each other, which lead to many misunderstandings and arguments. When things get heated, you can't work on your problems with each other anymore, because there's too much tension and intensity.

    That being said, even if you decide to get back together, make sure you settle the reasons that broke you up in the first place so that things don't blow up again.

    What kind of arguments did you have?
    Veetiny's Avatar
    Veetiny Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Apr 1, 2011, 12:00 AM
    Comment on I wish's post
    Like what happened? We would just yell and scream and eventually one of us would just sign off or something. Usually it was him, in my opinion just leaving things alone doesn't work, but I just let him go do whatever he does after he signed off or walked off for a bit. It was obvious that we weren't really understanding. I finally understood what he was trying to say. We're trying to be friends but it just ends up in us getting upset.
    Veetiny's Avatar
    Veetiny Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 1, 2011, 12:01 AM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    That's understandable. It just seems to be getting worse and worse everyday though. D:

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