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NicoleG · Mar 23, 2011, 11:25 PM

I'm a 21 year old lady can I be with a guy who is 37 years old? He respects me. He cares about me and doesn't try to controlle me. We have an uderstanding of each other and have the same religious beliefs. He also doesn't try to pursue me sexually or in any disrespectful manner.

Alty · Mar 23, 2011, 11:26 PM

You're an adult, you can date anyone you want that's also an adult.

If you enjoy being with him, and enjoy his company, then why not?

amicon · Mar 24, 2011, 02:15 AM

He sounds like a nice man,so why not, as long as you both enjoy spending time together.

Jake2008 · Mar 24, 2011, 04:18 AM

Just my opinion here, but I think the age gap is too much.

If it were a 37 year old woman dating a 21 year old man, it would also seem a bit too much of an age gap.

In your case, he's going to be pushing 50 when you are just in your early 30's.

But, there are many things other than age that I hope you have considered. Has he been married before, does he have children. Is he employed and financially responsible. I doubt that you have been already married at 21, but are you employed and financially independent yourself, or would you be dependent on him to support you. Are you living together now, or do you live on your own, with your parents, or are you at school?

He has a lot more life experience than you do, when you consider how much a person matures in this world from even 20 to 30. I would also be considering his motives because I don't know how a 37 year old man ends up with a 21 year old in the first place. Not saying it doesn't happen, just personally wondering why.

Whatever you decide, take your time in deciding if dating a man so much older than yourself is the right thing for you.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 24, 2011, 04:27 AM

Many women perfer a older man, and others like one who is mature.

At your age you are free to date who you wish, I see no issue with it, Of course yes when he is 75 you will be 50 or something like that. But? No one knows how many days we have here on earth,

So yes it is perfectly fine.

talaniman · Mar 24, 2011, 08:46 AM

Sure dating is great, but don't get carried away, and get overwhelmed by whatever feelings you go through. He is still a stranger whose ways and motives are unknown, and isn't that what dating is about? Having a great time getting to know each other and getting facts to see if something more can be built.

So have fun, but keep the eyes, and mind open, as you gather the real facts, and not just the fantasy that intense feelings can bring on. That's always a danger with young inexperienced people, separating fact, from fantasy. Pay attention, there will be a test at the end of the dating.

Lust fades, love grows, at least let the lust fades before you see if the love can grow.

NicoleG · Mar 31, 2011, 07:20 AM

I wouldn't mind a few more opinions because I love to hear from others and what they think but I believe it's time you hear from my end. First, I appreciate the feed back I've received from all of you thank you for your opinions and care.
Now I say in response, I've never considered being with a man that was much older than myself till this point in my life. I understand that he has experience that is beyond what I have experienced, no I've never been married and he has never been married either or has any childern. He has been in college and is going back to finish. He is getting his life together as I am doing the same. We are both employed and yes I live with my ma and him with roommates for now.
We don't plan on furthering anything till our lives are stable. I don't plan on being with him till I'm done with my schooling in college.
And yes we enjoy eachothers company

DoulaLC · Mar 31, 2011, 07:25 AM

Enjoy getting to know each other more... and see what develops over time. You are wise to plan not to get too involved, such as moving in together and such, until you have finished your education and had a chance to meet other people and gain more life experience along the way.

talaniman · Mar 31, 2011, 07:32 AM

Do you have guy friends your age, that you pal around with??

I wish · Mar 31, 2011, 11:52 AM

I would say that there's no reason to rush into a committed relationship. Why not go on a few dates first to see where it leads. Get to know each other better first.

mystific · Mar 31, 2011, 03:11 PM

Just have fun.

No expectations for an out come... enjoy it for what it is now.

NicoleG · Apr 2, 2011, 12:25 AM

I don't expect anything from him but to be himself and I do enjoy the time spent with him because it's time well spent and not wasted.

NicoleG · Apr 2, 2011, 12:31 AM

I'm not rushing into anything. We've been taking it slow, some may say it would be too slow but that is how we like things it makes moments more enjoyable together. We know plenty about each other and I believe it's good to know a bit about someone before getting into a committed relationship.

NicoleG · Apr 2, 2011, 12:35 AM

Yes I have many guy friends with a fair amount of lady friends. They are all like my brothers and sisters, they are great. An if you're asking because the next question would be "why don't you just date someone your own age?" I've done that before, It's not just about the age it's more than that.

NicoleG · Apr 2, 2011, 12:41 AM

I've had many life experiances for as young as I am but I've also gained a lot of wisdom from not only my experiances but from other peoples experiances. Plus I have many things I need to do before getting into such a relationship.
Thank you for your opinion

talaniman · Apr 2, 2011, 07:17 AM

An if you're asking because the next question would be "why don't you just date someone your own age?" I've done that before, It's not just about the age it's more than that.

Actually I was asking to see if you had a balanced social life. Not about dating guys your age, but just being able to have fun, and enjoy yourself with others. You know, friends, pals, not romance. Glad you do, and I hope you keep that balance.

NicoleG · Apr 7, 2011, 07:37 PM

Yes I have friends. We have loads of fun together and I'm very blessed. I feel like there is no work when I do go to work and I enjoy playing music with them. Not everything is romance for me, I like the reality of things more because I'm not stuck in the clouds about how things will be. I do dream about things but not to where it isn't reality.
I have an awesome life and I wouldn't trade it for any other.
How is your life going for you?

talaniman · Apr 7, 2011, 08:17 PM

Very balanced, some days are great, some days suck. That's the way its always been. I am grateful just with life, and all that comes with it.

I wish · Apr 8, 2011, 06:18 AM

If a relationship with this man is going to work, then it doesn't matter how slow you take it with each other. The age gap is significant, which is why we suggest that you continue to get to know each other better before rushing into anything serious.

Keep on living your own life while you go on dates with him and see where that leads. There's no reason for you to tie yourself down (and lose the balance in your life) with him so quickly.

NicoleG · Apr 9, 2011, 01:21 AM

Like I said, I'm very blessed in many ways. I'm blessed with the friends I have, the family I have and the people I've met. I feel so blessed to have met you all on here because you all give good advice and helps me think a little bit. Thank you for your help.