[troublesex]

Well,, I think I am in love with a nice beautiful girl,she is 21 and me too, we been in relation for past 5 months and she told me that she is virgin and no doubt about me as I am 100% dumb virgin,, all my ****ing friends lost there virginity at 14 or 15 years old and I waited all this to have mine with a the girl I love,, finally I did it with her 2days back,, at 1st it was hard to find her hole later I managed to put inside and after sex she slept and I felt kind of guilt hurting her,, later her cell phone beebed by unknown number and I checked the message and I also checked her sent item,, on same number she messaged back and writing like ''take care dear,I miss you'',, it's making me ****ing red,, I don't know if she is really a virgin or not,, I found a drop of blood on my bed after sex and I don't know is it the sugn of virgin or just other thing,, how much blood with come out if the girl bleed after sex for first time,, I need your advice and answer,,

[tickle]

How could we possibly give you an answer? Just because you saw text message you think she wasn't a virgin? Why does it matter? If you like her and she is sincere, don't worry about it.


Edit: If you find you care for her, respect her, then that doesn't include reading text messages off her phone. That waas none of your business. A healthy relationship is built on trust. You should learn that.
Tick

[ScottGem]

Since you are both 21, I don't know why you posted this in Child and Teen Health, so I moved it.

But the real question here is why does this matter to you. Her experience or lack of it has no bearing on your feelings for her. If you love her and are committed to her, then those things shouldn't matter. If you don't, then you had no business having sex with her in the first place.

[Cat1864]

troublesex, your trouble isn't with sex or virginity. It is with trust.

The only way to know if a woman is a virgin is by her word. You have to trust that she is telling you the truth just like she has to trust that you are telling the truth. How would she know if you weren't? It isn't like there is any 'sign' to look for after the fact.

So, why are you really looking for signs that she was? You looked at her phone at a time when you were feeling guilty. You see a message from an 'unknown' number. You look into her messages and jump to all kinds of conclusions. Now you don't have to feel guilty for hurting her. You can be full of self-righteous anger that she 'lied' to you. Is feeling angry better than feeling guilty?

You think she can't be trusted, however, you are the one who invaded her privacy and snooped through her personal correspondence and made assumptions based on (from what you have written here) very little information.

Your choices pretty much reduce to:

1. You can decide to let trust and love guide you in letting go of the anger.

2.You can talk to her and admit what you did and how you feel and deal with the consequences.

3. You can keep the anger and hurt and walk away before you destroy both of your lives with your insecurities and accusations.

I hope you make the best choice for both of you.

[jenniepepsi]

That text message sounds to me like a text message a girl can get from a mother or father. She is 21 years old, which means I am sure her parents still miss her. Or a brother. Or a best friend. etc.

You need to get over your trust issues. If you hurt her during sex, then in my opinion, it sounds like she was a virgin before sleeping with you.

A word of advice, if you do not get over the trust issues, you WILL lose her.

[spitvenom]

Im going to be a little Harsh cause that is what you need right now. But you are going to push this girl away from you fast. You are obsessing if she is a virgin or not. She told you she was if you truly love her you would not be obsessing about this.

You obviously don't trust her because if you did you would have NEVER looked at cell phone. That text could have been from her mom, a cousin, a best friend, anyone but you automatically think she isn't a virgin because this must be the person she had sex with.

You need to end these thoughts right now or these thoughts are going to end your relationship.

[talaniman]

Boy are you a scared insecure fellow. Why ruin the moment by doing something stupid like snooping in her phone, and then be so carried away that you didn't have the courage, or honesty to admit your mistake, or try and correct it. Maybe you are not ready for a healthy adult relationship, since you can't handle trust, and honesty in a mature way.

Was she a virgin? Who cares?! Either trust her, or lose her. For sure she has no reason to trust you!! Hmmmm, maybe she planned it that way to see if you were a dumb virgin, or an insecure dumb guy.

Better think about what you do very long, and hard before you do it. Accusing because you are hurt and mad will get you dumped, and then you may as well have stayed a virgin, because you will get no more lovin' fella.

To answer your question, she said she was a virgin, and thats good enough for me, no blood, or a little, makes no difference.

[Fr_Chuck]

First sorry ain't no way you are 21, so about time to be honest if you want honest answers.

Next if you think she was she was, you can't prove it one way or another, there is no virgin test. So you either have to believe it, or not.

Next how dare you check someone else's phone, that is unforgivable, until you grow up and start acting like a adult in a adult relationship you will never have one that will last.

[troublesex]

Thank you all,,

[jenniepepsi]

No problem at all. If you have any more questions always feel safe to come here, even if the answers are blunt.

Have you had a chance to talk to her about this? Maybe open up to her about your insecuritys? Possibly look into couples counseling? If you are serious about this girl and want to be with her, take the steps to try and make this better