[essence15]

I live with my mum, my dad left my mum and me when I was five I haven't seen him since then now all of a sudden he want to have something to do eith me. I really don't want to see him but my mum said I should give him a chance. I don't know what to do I don't want to upset mum but I hate him and I don't want to see him its so unfair her making me go. I don't get it why now all of a sudden when I'm 15 does he want to see me what about all the rest of the time he never rang never even sent a letter I'm so angry I don't want this.

[adviceishere]

You seem to have a lot of unanswered questions regarding your father and his disappearing, my adivce to you would be to go! You don't have to have any relationship with your father and you have every right to feel anger towards him! So I would use this opportunity to get the answers you deserve and decide on your own whether he deserves a second chance. But get your answers! You need to know so you can move on with your life.

[adviceishere]

You seem to have a lot of unanswered questions regarding your father and his disappearing, my adivce to you would be to go! You don't have to have any relationship with your father and you have every right to feel anger towards him! So I would use this opportunity to get the answers you deserve and decide on your own whether he deserves a second chance. But get your answers! You need to know so you can move on with your life.

[Jake2008]

I think at your age, you should be given a choice whether to see your father.

If your parents were going through a custody battle right now, you would be allowed a say in where you wanted to go. Your opinion, and your thoughts and feelings on this matter should also be considered.

If you do not wish to have contact, say so. Perhaps offering at a later date when you feel more comfortable doing so, will appease both your mother, and your father. Try not to express yourself as shutting that door permanently. Leave it open just a little bit, and down the road if you feel you wish to contact him, that would be the time to do so. Under your own steam and control.

While he may be your father, he has not been a father to you. He is a stranger. You may have long ago settled with the fact that he wasn't around and wasn't going to be around, and went on to have a good childhood without him.

To force the issue to please others- your mother, and your father- in my opinion, isn't the right answer for you, at your age.

As I said, leave the door open, but don't be afraid to step up, and set your own boundaries with either parents' expectations.