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ghostmau5 · Mar 20, 2011, 09:41 AM

I'm 17, and I'll be 18 on May 12th (I'm posting this on March 20th)

I've heard some people say that I can come and leave here as I choose, while others say I can't until I'm 18. Both sides seem to have laws, or otherwise, personal experiences to back them up.

I don't necessarily want to move out right now, but I feel trapped. If I left without permission and they called the cops, would they be able to bring me home?

My dad is a cop, and I feel like he's been lying to me.

cdad · Mar 20, 2011, 09:49 AM

Stick it out 2 more months. Save everyone the grief. The law is easy enough to look up concerning this and there are other posts that address this for your state. If you can try to finish school before leaving.

ghostmau5 · Mar 20, 2011, 09:51 AM

I'm sorry... I'm new to this site, so I don't really know my way around it yet.

I would love to finish school, and I have full intentions to. I don't want to move out yet, I just want to be able to go where I want to without them threatening to call the cops on me.

Thank you for commenting, though. I sincerely appreciate it.

joypulv · Mar 20, 2011, 10:27 AM

It sounds like you are asking about coming and going as you please, not leaving. Two very different things. When you are under your parents' roof, eating their food, sleeping in their bed, watching their TV, wearing their clothes, you do what they say, regardless of being 17 or 18 or finished with high school. If you want to emancipate, look it up on GA.GOV (each state is different). But you will be 18 by the time it would happen, most likely. Are you prepared to support yourself as of the day you graduate? Many parents of unhappy children aren't so happy about them when they graduate and say get a job and start paying rent. Finances are a HUGE blow once you realize how much it costs just to scrape by.

Having a cop for a father can be tough, and he might even get his fellow officers to drag you home, or do it himself, under some dire warning about the law. In reality the way it is handled depends a lot on how much of a risk everyone in power thinks a minor might be out there in the wide world. (Unless you are poor, then chances are greater that you won't be looked for.)

Fr_Chuck · Mar 20, 2011, 12:01 PM

Big difference, I will not address the age you can move out, since in GA there are two different rules but age to sign contracts in GA is 18.

But as long even if you are 50, and you live in your parents house, they can make the rules and if you wish to live there you have to follow them.
So even at 18, you can not just come and go as you want, if you live in their home.

And of course being a retired "cop" yes, he can have his fellow cops keep a eye on you, and even bring you home, even if not 100 percent legal.

But if you think you can get up and come and go at 3 in the morning, sorry, expect them to have you locked out or thrown out if you don't obey.
Also they can merely stop paying any and all of your bills, cell phones, internet or more if they want

Wondergirl · Mar 20, 2011, 12:25 PM

Why do you feel trapped?

ghostmau5 · Mar 20, 2011, 02:53 PM

Please understand, I mean no disrespect. I said "come and go as I please" ,as in, that was what people have told me. I merely posted this so as to try to gain some understanding. Georgia law is one thing that has always confused me. Even still, I appreciate your comment.

ghostmau5 · Mar 20, 2011, 02:56 PM

I'm the oldest in my family, and I'm basically the black sheep.

My younger sister has a boyfriend who is 20, while she's only 16. Her boyfriend has hit me before, yet he's still allowed to walk in and out of our house whenever he wants to. She's failing some of her classes as well.

Meanwhile, my mom hates my boyfriend because he stood up for me when he heard her yelling at me. My mom has hurt me, physically, twice, and mentally more times than I can count, from the time I was about 12 or 13 until now. I'm rarely allowed to go anywhere, even to the store. I even have straight A's and B's.

Basically, I have no freedom. My little sister has more freedom than I do.

Wondergirl · Mar 20, 2011, 03:08 PM

Are there only two of you (children)?

I too am the oldest and was always held to a higher standard than anyone else. For instance, I wasn't allowed to attend any school dances ("the devil at work"), yet my younger sibs gleefully danced their way through their teen years. Apparently, my parents had decided to relax with my four-years-younger brother. My sixteen-years-younger brother got away with murder!

I was the smart one of the four of us, so my parents wouldn't let up on me regarding rules and regulations, probably for fear I would stumble and fall. My mother often reminded me that I was the role model for my sibs. Maybe that's the same for you?

ghostmau5 · Mar 20, 2011, 03:22 PM

Yes... that's how it is for me. Only, my mom has always acted like she hates me. I can't even talk to her about my problems without her getting mad at me and yelling at me.

It's me, my younger sister, and my 7 year old brother. I was supposed to have an older brother, but he passed at birth.

But, just recently, I won an art contest, I was one of the two students in my school to be selected to go state-wide in the Young Authors contest, and I brought home my report card with my A's and B's on it. My mom took one look at them and said, "None of this sh- matters. You're not going to do anything with your life."

I've never been able to make her happy, and she has a tendency to mock me when I'm upset (as in, if I was crying because of something, she would do the whole annoying voice/insulting my character routine).

Wondergirl · Mar 20, 2011, 03:50 PM

Congratulations! I'm proud of you! Ignore the negative comments (yeah, I know it's hard), and keep doing what you're doing -- for YOU, not for anyone else.

I have a friend whose parents always told her she was nothing and wouldn't amount to anything. She's a gifted artist, but guess what! She fulfilled the prophecy and never amounted to anything. Don't be like that! Be the best you can be! You're almost 18, and life will begin for you then.

I'll be cheering you on!

ghostmau5 · Mar 20, 2011, 03:53 PM

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

I know this is an advice site, but sometimes, it feels like people don't help people for the genuine purpose of helping others. Even just talking to you about this has really helped. I know these next few weeks have been difficult, but I promise, to you, and to myself, that I will do my best to keep going, and not to fill the prophecy my mom has for me.

Again, thank you. I sincerely appreciate your help.

Wondergirl · Mar 20, 2011, 04:57 PM

Please check back and let us (me) know how things are going for you! I envy you being at the beginning of your adut life with so many challenges and adventures ahead. I thoroughly enjoyed all mine (yeah, I'm old now), so I hope you too will enjoy the ride.

Always remember this quote:

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: WOW! What a Ride!

I'm retired now, so I'll be sitting here waiting to see a report from you.

joypulv · Mar 21, 2011, 01:12 PM

Wondergirl has done wonders here. She made no assumptions about you as I did, sorry.
I too had a mother who seemed to be perpetually unhappy with me. I too did well in school. I think the kicker was when she kept telling me I was too fat but if I weighed less than she did (she would make me get on a scale), she'd be mad at that too. She wanted me to be all that she was and more, and then resented any sign of it. A no win.
It takes years sometimes to realize that a parent is unhappy for their own reasons, plain and simple.
Or you might remind her of herself, unlike your siblings.
Or you remind her of when you were conceived or born, a happier time no longer to be.
Or the opposite, a miserable event, who knows. Sometimes even uncertainty about who the father is. What if there was a little fling and you look a little like that man to her?
Just some ideas to take the burden off you.
I'd take you in in a heartbeat.

southamerica · Mar 21, 2011, 01:38 PM

Hey Ghostmau,

Just judging on your writing style and conscientious tone, I can tell that you're smart and that you care. You have been so respectful to everyone here. You have something good going for you. You have great grades, you're winning awards... Great work!

I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to have a parent who doesn't recognize the hard work you're putting in to school, but I (with everyone else here) urge you to ignore it and be the best you can be.

Do you have plans for college? That's one great way to not only continue on your path of success, but to gain some independence from your parents. As much as I loved my mom, I was so happy to move out when I got into college. It was totally worth all the student loans! College is a good buffer between living at home and the "real world". It's something to think about.

Keep up the hard work at school and prove to yourself that you are every bit as smart and worthy as we can see that you are. Good luck :) (and please do come back and let us know how you're doing!)