[DJHUHN]

I know the title is not really a question. Here's the tale for anyone who wants to know- I have been with my girlfriend since April '09 (Im 26 now). Everything was great. In June '09 my older sister passed away and my new girlfriend was the perfect thing for me to think "i am going to get through this". She was my rock. I would have my obvious sad moments but my girlfriend was THERE. So come up to September 2010. She decides she wants to dump me while I was on a businesses trip in WI. I get home and it is one of the first things I get from here - TXT: "We need to have a talk". It sucked real bad. I never once cheated on her or did anything to warrant a breakup. But it happened. I was devastated. She contacted me eveynow and then asking about school, work etc. But there was about a week and a half where we didn't talk then she contacted me and we hung out and techincally got back togther. She said she missed me so much and loved and apologized and ****. So we were togther again and everything was great. Then comes January and she starts to get depressed. There are little things that we were both annoyed about but nohign more, I thought. (Also a note- she works at PARX Casino as a full time dealer and that has basically taken up her life.) So on feb 5 we have a talk and she tells me she's super depressed (not going into detail) and I was pissed afterwards of course. After the talk she said "dont be mad i just need time" and I said "did i just get dumped again?" "no. i just need time to think things out" I realized that this is not a break up, but a weird funk. So time goes by and I seen her maybe once since, and I the last time I have talked to her was 2 solid weeks ago (I always initiated the convos during this so the balls in her court). I would tell her I loved her before and she still said it back. The worst part is her depression gradually rubbed off on me and I am super depressed without her now. Like reallllyyyyy. No joy at all. I still love her and was never miserable in my time with her. I am just so sad that , like in all cases, the depressed person pushed those closest to them away. What do I do? (NOTE: We went through my sis death and she had a miscariage a year ago... important things)

[talaniman]

Just curious, how long are you going to sit in limbo?

[DJHUHN]

I do not know. This is really hard and as much as I want to talk to her this should be her move because I've tried to talk to her and hang out before these 2 weeks.

[talaniman]

When someone asks for time, you give it to them, and start doing your own thing without them. The part you missed, is getting a definition of how much time they need, and get the rules for if this is a break up or not. It usually is, but its not fair to ask a partner to wait around in limbo, so you should have a big say in what's going on as much as they do.

Since this is so one sided, with you knowing nothing, take it as a break up and act accordingly.

Take time to heal, as you pursue a life that makes you happy without her. No way do you make her confusion yours.

[adviceishere]

This is coming from someone that sufferes extreme depression : when I'm in one of my black weeks or months I become very unpredictable, I do things and say things that I want at the time and that I think is right at the time but when the cloud lifts and my thinking becomes clearer I realise I shouldn't have said or done certain things.

My boyfriends has somehow put up with this behaviour, I did explain it to him before we got into a relationship, I am also on medication.

I will always be grateful he stuck around but I wouldn't blame him if he didn't, its very hard I can imagine. So as taliman said, keep doing your own things, advise your girlfriend to see her doctor about this and just get on with your life. I know this isn't what you signed up for and its your choice if you stick around but its very very hard and you shouldn't feel bad if you can't put up with it.