[Frostmaiden75]

My husband and I have had a friend for many years I met this man through my husband and he has always said that we should have been together instead of my husband and I lately he's been saying that more often and seems almost angry at my husband that we are married. I know his marriage is falling apart and he always comes to me for support it has now escalated to him wanting us to take photos together and go for road trips just the two of us. Am I being hyper sensitive? I do know he has huge anger issues and a lot of anxiety. If somebody could give me advice on what to do I would greatly appreciate it.

[southamerica]

I certainly don't think you're being hyper-sensitive! He's specifically telling you that he wants to be with you and you to be with him-which considering that you both are married to different people is highly inappropriate.

I know he's your friend and you would want to help him through his rocky marriage-but you need to protect yourself and your marriage first and foremost. This other man is now asking to make intimate plans with you (which you should not make) and have photos taken with you-it's going too far. I think it's time to tell him that you're feeling uncomfortable with the dynamic between the two of you and he needs to back off because you're a married woman.

Best of luck to you and I hope that you find a way to co-exist without him crossing any further boundaries!

[Cat1864]

I do not think you are being hyper-sensitive. I think you are reading the warning signs and paying attention to the red flags before things get too far out of hand.

I think you and your husband need to talk about this friendship and make a decision together about how to handle the situation. You need to tell the friend to back off and you need your husband to support you.

I suggest that you do not spend time alone with the friend if you decide to continue the friendship. I think you really should not have anything to do with him until he gets his life in order and his emotions under control. You and your husband should not have to be concerned about his anger issues.

You might suggest that he seek counseling to help him through his divorce. He needs a counselor trained to handle misplaced emotions. Right now, he seems to be trying to get affection from you and sees your husband as a rival. When you back off to protect yourself and your marriage, he may see that as more of a betrayal than he does the break up of his marriage.

Be careful. Be aware. Take any precautions that seem needed to protect your family. Good luck.

[adviceishere]

What the others said is perfect and as cat1864 you should absolutely involve your husband and tell himm exactly what's been going on, I find it really strange he wants photos with you both in them, he could easily plot some kind of revenge on (ruin your relationship) you if you do this alone, so please do tell your husband everything!

[talaniman]

What's within the boundaries of good behavior is something both husband and wife should agree on, and he needs to be fully aware what his "friend" is doing behind his back. He is no friend to either of you.