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Samantha808 · Mar 14, 2011, 11:13 PM

Ive been with my guy for 5 years but unsure if I should break up with him. He has always smoked weed and I have never liked it but accepted it as apart of him and moved on. He moved in with me a few months ago and now I feel like there is nothing more I can get out of our relationship, neither of us ever want to get married though. I still love him but I want a man not a "boy" he has no "manly" skills to help out around the house, he works night and I work days, he drinks every weekend with his mates and hardly spends time with me, he has been really hungover on special occasions like christmas and made my family disappointed in him, he is unreliable to make plans with and I am more financially secure than him. I pay for big events and he says he will pay me back for his ticket but never does. But we aren't fighting and we get along well just don't think I'm happy anymore? What to do?

amicon · Mar 15, 2011, 02:00 AM

I think you know what to do;you're not on the same page and it's beginning to drag you down.

Time to leave him to his lifestyle and get a life that you enjoy!

I wish · Mar 15, 2011, 07:55 AM

The relationship has runned its course.

A better question would be, why are you sticking around if there's nothing left?

Sounds to me that you're better off going your separate ways.

suggestionsir · Mar 15, 2011, 08:17 AM

According to your situation it seems as if you are not happy and you are continuing only for the sake of relationship.
If you even love him before taking any forward step think as practical mature person !
CAN HE AFFORD YOU ?
If he is not capable and not able to understand your feelings and is just using you, think what will happen if you take this relationship forward?
If you feel I'm writing right you should break up for your own sake.

ken007nielsen · Mar 15, 2011, 10:31 AM

Have you shared your thought with him?

For your sake, it may be time to move on.

But my personal feeling is, that once you've been together for a time such as five years, you could try to see if your partner will change - I know I would if I wanted to stay with someone.
That's of course if you haven't already tried talking to him about it.

talaniman · Mar 15, 2011, 12:27 PM

Options

1) try honest communications first, and see if things get better.

2) Go back to dating, that worked for 5 years didn't it.

3) if all the above don't make you happy together, then be apart.

Prisster · Mar 15, 2011, 04:50 PM

I was in a marriage like that for 17 years before leaving him. I too tried to ignore the daily weed consumption and the weekend poker parties at our house. I tried talking to him about how I was feeling but it didn't seem to matter. He enjoyed his life and that's all that seemed to matter to him. So, after 17 years of marriage, I told him that I was leaving him. He was devastated but he gave me no choice. I was unhappy and realized that I'd be happier living alone. It's been 3 years now and I am much happier. So, with that being said, if you don't see things changing and feel that you'll never be happy, then leave. If you think you can talk to him and he changes, then try to work it out. Good luck in whatever you decide.