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kayte28 · Mar 14, 2011, 08:23 AM

Hi all I'm 28 and have 2 children with my partner of 9 years but I need help in working out what the hell is going on with him. He is unbearable to live with he is constantly accusing me of cheating on him (I would like to see how this happens as I have a 2 yr old attached to my hip 27/7) I have said this to him but he just said I probably put her in the other room I was fuming at this. Why is he so nasty? Id say 98% of our arguments are about sex he says it isn't enough and he wants me to relieve him just him (I think 2 kids and 2-3 times a week is bloody good). We had a massive argument last night and it nearly ended in fists he got rite in my face and told me I have nothing (I thought being in a relationship was give and take and sharing) we have been down this road before and I tried to leave but as I have no where to go and no money I feel like a prisoner.
He constantly puts me down by commenting on my weight how I look and spelling and I'm getting cheesed off with it. If I tell him its over he tells me to get out but I'm not aloud to take our children as I am not a fit mother and he can provide better for them and he says I'm being selfish to them if I take them out of there home and away from him (I no this is rubbish I am a bloody good mother). I just don't know what to do please help me

adviceishere · Mar 14, 2011, 08:27 AM

Your far to dependent on him and he knows it, he treats you like **** and you don't deserve it, you need to get your independence back, go to a refuge if you have to but you need to take your children away from this environment and it makes you a damn good mother in doing so. There's nothing in this relationship but disrespect.

amicon · Mar 14, 2011, 08:43 AM

You need to get out,this is abuse,and abuse escalates.

Have you got family and/or friends who can help you out?

Talk to people who run refugees and seek legal advice.

Your children's safety,and your own are at risk so please leave.

talaniman · Mar 14, 2011, 08:52 AM

There is no excuse for this bully to be abusive, and a woman's shelter can counsel you, and suggest some good ideas on how to plan help for you.

You just need some guidance to point you in the right direction of being less dependent on him, and more on yourself. Ideally family and friends would help, but when that's not possible, then call your local woman's shelter.

If a man can't appreciate what he has, then he doesn't deserve to keep it. You have to find somewhere else to go, and to do, to stop this abuse.

I wish you luck, just never give up on yourself, and keep looking no matter what. He has a problem, and when you can't solve it together, then you solve it apart.