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babseesis · Mar 11, 2011, 01:05 PM

"My friend was abused by her stepfather when she was small. He was never prosecuted. Her mother is still with the man. She has very limited contact with her family because of this, but does occasionally attend family gatherings. Her Fiance has forbidden her from having any contact with her family. He has said that if she attends any more family gatherings he will leave her and file for custody of their son. He said that by taking her child to a place where her stepfather is, she is endangering her child and he will win custody. Is there anything he can truly do?"

JudyKayTee · Mar 11, 2011, 01:16 PM

If he can PROVE the child is in danger, yes, he can attempt to have her declared unfit and attempt to get custody.

I was raped. I don't want contact with that person nor do I want anyone in my family around that person - and that includes children. Why is your friend insistent that her child have contact with this abusive man?

AK lawyer · Mar 11, 2011, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by babseesis

"... Her Fiance has forbidden her from having any contact with her family. He has said that if she attends any more family gatherings he will leave her and file for custody ..."

Why is your question in quotes?

The fiancé is a control freak.

Taking the child to family gatherings is not necessarily going to put the child at risk. Child molestation isn't a virus caught by merely being in proximity to a molester. If the fiancé wants to be sure nothing inappropriate happens, he can go along.

JudyKayTee · Mar 11, 2011, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by AK lawyer

Why is your question in quotes?

The fiance is a control freak.

Taking the child to family gatherings is not necessarily going to put the child at risk. Child molestation isn't a virus caught by merely being in proximity to a molester. If the fiance wants to be sure nothing inappropriate happens, he can go along.

Agree with you in theory BUT in practice, as I said, I was raped. I don't want my children anywhere NEAR that man, supervised or unsupervised. I do see the fiance's side of things.

And, yes, the fiancé is a control freak. The whole "if you don't do this I'm going to do that ..." threat rankles me.

babseesis · Mar 11, 2011, 03:00 PM

I don't know why my question is in quotes. This is my first time posting here and I must have done something to cause it. I really don't know.

My friend really doesn't want to be around the abuser and really doesn't want her children around him either. However, she lives in another town than her family, and large family gatherings are the best way for her to see her family. Unfortunately, this man is there. She watches him closely and does not allow her children anywhere near him. Other family members who are aware of his actions also closely monitor his actions and interactions with the children who attend. My friend is torn, she doesn't want to be anywhere near this man, yet she feels like she will lose her family if she always stays away. However, she doesn't feel it's right for him to threaten her,

AK lawyer · Mar 11, 2011, 03:42 PM

Originally Posted by babseesis

... He said that by taking her child to a place where her stepfather is, she is endangering her child and he will win custody. Is there anything he can truly do?

What you say in Post #5 confirms my belief that, no, he isn't going to win custody on the basis of supposedly "endangering her child". The fiancé can do what he wants to do, but, even assuming he is the father of her child, isn't going to get anywhere on that issue.