[bluelicorice]

I've been in therapy for almost 2 years, and I'm planning a return to the house where I was raped at age 7. I will probably go in May or June, depending on when I feel completely ready. The return is for the purpose of closure, and someone will be accompanying me.

My therapist is on holidays for a month right now, but I really would like to start preparing myself for the visit in some way. I've tried googling for ideas, books or stories of what others have done, but I can't seem to find anything specific to returning to a traumatic location. So my question is, does anyone here know of any books or websites that may be of help? Or even just some advice from your own perspective? Thanks.

[joypulv]

Here's what I say: write your own book on how to be prepared. I watched a TV show once of a girl (young) who wanted to confront her abuser across a big table in prison, on advice of and accompanied by her therapist. The man proceeded to tell her how much he had loved her and never wanted to hurt her, and she completely fell apart. It was all wrong. Trust YOURSELF as you are doing now about when to go.

And write your own book when you do go too.

I have something to say about the word closure too. It is often used with a sense of finality and freedom, but there really of course are many many shades of all that, and you don't want to crash on the rising tide of expectations if feelings creep back in later. I don't like single words for such complicated situations. I think of dealing with trauma more in terms of merged feelings, incorporation of old and new, and evolution.

[bluelicorice]

Thanks so much, I love the idea of my own book and I will give it a try.

[redhed35]

I'm sure your counsellor will go over how to handle thoughts and feelings when your in the house again,you have I'm sure been through hell already,preparing for such a emotional and mental journey is going to need guidance,so you don't get set back.

May I ask, is going back to the house on the suggestion of your counsellor or is it something you want to do?

Writing down your feelings and visualising the visit can be helpful, but I would urge you not to do it alone, its all too easy for your mind to go off on a tangent and the feelings become overwhelming.

Good luck on your journey, I wish you well.

[bluelicorice]

Sorry, I haven't been back here for a while and I didn't realize I had another answer! But thanks for your comments. Its my idea to return to the house, I've been thinking about it for a few months. I thankfully do have someone to go with. I actually did a bunch of writing about it and now I've put it aside for a while and just concentrating on finishing out my semester at school and exams. Thanks for the advice though, its really appreciated!