[artDDP]

I am pretty good at meeting women. I am social, polite, assertive, outgoing. I get told I'm very attractive. I have my own place and a career. I think positive most of the time.

Yet I can't keep any of the women I actually like.

I was dumped by a long-term girlfriend. Another girlfriend dumped me saying I was "perfect, but boring." I'll date a woman for a few weeks and then she flakes.

To wit: I met a woman last month and we went out, had a great time. Called and texted, made plans to meet frequently. She seemed upset when she thought I had stopped talking with her when she had switched phones and missed a few messages. She suggested I come over for dinner last weekend, and then I haven't heard anything since.

Concurrently I meet another woman and after a few dates she seems to be trying to push me away.

I don't come on too strong. I'm not pushing for anything. We just meet, date, and then she decides she wants something else. I know plenty of people who are the exact opposite of me who have no problem keeping women infatuated with them yet I can't get anyone to stay interested beyond a few weeks.

I'm honestly beginning to feel I may just be genetic waste, meant to be bred out of existence.

[adviceishere]

Your not genetic waste! I can't say what your faults may be but from what you have described could you maybe be a bit safe? By this I mean, your not spontanious and just play it safe on dates or in general. Women like a bit of unpradictable in a man, suprises, interesting stories to tell etc etc.

Also don't be too responsive, but not to the point were your rude, we like a bit of mystery, we like a chase and the best part of meeting a new potentail lover is finding out about them, don't give too much away about yourself, keeping them interested and eager to find out more about the mystery man...

[artDDP]

Thank you for your reply. I've thought about this. I can be both spontaneous and safe. I don't do anything that could cost me my job or land me in jail but I do like to have a good time and throw caution to the wind. The girl who said I was "perfect, but boring" said I needed more tattoos and a dirtbike. That's just not who I am.

[adviceishere]

Haha well then she must be a very imature girl! Hey if they don't like you as your are then too bad for them, was this girl that said that to you younger than you? Could it be that your dating younger women and women closer to your age or a little older suit you more?

[artDDP]

The one I really liked is a 30-year old working toward her PhD. She and I had a great weekend together, got very affectionate as the night wore on and kept talking afterward. I saw her Saturday night and she started saying things that seemed to be her attempt to push me away.

Some of the women I've dated have been younger, yes. The ones I have been dating that I'm actually interested in were closer to my age (28).

[redhed35]

Your getting dates, your meeting women, its just a matter of time before you meet the right one.

Your way ahead of the posse!

Relax, think of it as a weeding out process, your vetting the surplus women to make way for the right woman.

So what if one or two don't work out,move on, make the next date and work from there.

And this bred out of exsistence thing, really? Really really?

Get a grip, your doing great, you just have not hit the jackpot yet.

Be happy, or if your not, get happy, which will lead to self confidence, which in turn, gives you an edge.

And the woman who thinks a tattoo makes a man exciting,really needs to get out more.

So, to end, your doing great.

[artDDP]

Thank you. Right now I'd like something to last more than a few weeks. I'd like a chance to really get to know someone before they either get cold feet or start playing little-kid games (even the older ones do this).

[redhed35]

So do something different, take up a hobbie or an interest where you can meet people and get to know them before you ask them out, also, they will get to know you as well.

A golf club, a swimming club,running, hiking,a book club, whatever takes your fancy.

Something that involves people working together... canoeing!

I'm dead serious, something where you can have fun and enjoy yourself.

There's no drinking involved, and when your happy and enjoying yourself, people tend to be themselves, not trying to impress or put on a mask, so you get to see the real person.

[Cat1864]

Where do you meet women you want to date? Are they looking for the same thing you are?

I do wonder if you truly know what you want.

I know plenty of people who are the exact opposite of me who have no problem keeping women infatuated with them yet I can't get anyone to stay interested beyond a few weeks.

You use the word 'infatuated' and I am wondering if that is the word that best describes what you are looking for in a partner.

From Merriam-Webster:

Definition of INFATUATE
Transitive verb
1: to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment
2: to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration

When a relationship gets past the 'Honeymoon' stage where everything is new and exciting (when infatuation either fades away or turns into a more stable emotion), are you still putting in the effort to keep the relationship going or are you unconsciously backing off and stagnating? Are you maybe looking for them to put in more effort to be with you as a test to see if they will stick around for longer than a few weeks?

Take the woman who suggested dinner last weekend, have you tried to contact her and find out what is going on? Could there have there been more missed messages or mis-communications?

When you enter a relationship, do you expect to spend most if not all of your free time with your partner either together or communicating in some way? Do both of you remember to keep up with friends and separate interests so that you aren't just about work, chores and each other?

Stability in a relationship shouldn't mean stagnation. It also shouldn't mean getting all of your entertainment from each other.

[artDDP]

I contacted her that Thursday and she suggested meeting that weekend would be ideal. The next day I tried to get ahold of her to say I was free either Friday or Saturday, and she didn't reply. No callback, no text, nothing, since Thursday night at about 6:30 PST. It's now Tuesday at 9:13 PST and nothing. She didn't die, according to local news.

[talaniman]

Just keep dating and having a great time and eventually you will meet the right one.

Stop expecting the next one to be the one, and if they aren't available, just move to the next one.

There is an old saying that I have found true,

"sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before one turns into a Princess".

Keep kissing the frogs!!