[cowboylover]

Welll about 6 months month my older brother told my mom and my dad that he was going to get married and now all of a sudden his wife to be don't want anything to do with our family her parents are saying that the wedding is going to be planned by them and we have no say in it well I don't think that's fair that we have no say in it, and another thing that is really pissing me off is that she's being a really to me! What should I do about it??

[shygrneyzs]

There is definitely more to this story that you have posted here. Perhaps you do not even know what all is going on. Ask your brother to spell it out for you. Since he is the closest to your future sister-in-law, he should know the who, what, when, where, why of the attitudes shown by his future wife and in-laws. If he does not know, he needs to find out before the marriage. Finding out after is neither a good thing nor a good basis for a happy marriage.

But generally speaking, the bride's family does run the show when it comes to wedding plans. The groom's family has the rehearsal dinner responsibilities. They are not involved in floral arrangements, gowns, bridesmaids, etc.

Go and talk to your brother and see what he says. Hopefully he can explain it so that you can cool off and settle down and enjoy the upcoming nuptials. If he cannot explain it, I would wonder what all is going on. Good luck.

[RubyPitbull]

You wrote: i dont think thats fair that we have no say in it

Cowboylover, please listen to shygrney. You may not think this is fair. That is okay. We are all entitled to our opinions. But, the etiquette for weddings is that the bride's family makes the decisions and the groom's family is only asked for their opinions if there is a problem or the two families have become good friends. But, the final decision is made by the bride's family because they are paying for the wedding.

Think of it this way. You buy a birthday present for your brother and give it to him. His girlfriend gets mad at you because you didn't ask her whether it was a gift that she felt was right for him or she had her own ideas of what you should buy him. How would that make you feel? Pretty annoyed, I would suspect. She doesn't have a right to tell you how you should be spending your money. Please understand that this is the way she is viewing her wedding. It is her money/her family's money that is paying for it, not yours.

I hope this makes it a bit clearer for you.

[happy squirrel]

welll about 6 months month my older brother told my mom and my dad that he was going to get married and now all of a sudden his wife to be dont want anything to do with our family her parents are saying that the wedding is going to be planned by them and we have no say in it well i dont think thats fair that we have no say in it, and another thing that is really pissing me off is that shes being a realy to me!! what should i do about it ???

It sounds like you should talk to your brother... After all she is his wife and he should be the first one concerned about her relationship with his family. Have you talk to your parents about it? Do they feel the same way?