[matlanta82]

I was in a relationship with my ex girlfriend for 3 years. We broke up 6 months ago, but the problem is we both work for the same company - we both have really good jobs and I personally, as well as she, would be stupid to quit.

I was the one who broke up with her - this was in early Sept, and in mid-january, I talked to her and told her I had feelings that I made the wrong decision, missed her, and wanted her back. Long story short, she is already seeing someone else.

While she said she can't rule out the idea of getting back together with me - saying "she doesnt know why she can't just say no its definitely over" - providing me closure - she wants to "see where this new relationship goes". I feel like I'm being placed in limbo - not being able to move on, but at the same time feeling like its really no hope and I should. This new relationship between her and her new guy started about 3 months ago.

The new guy she is dating is the complete opposite from me. While people describe him as a nice guy, he's covered in tattoos, overweight, etc.

I feel lost, as I am now starting to see a new girl, but still have strong unresolved feelings for my ex. And seeing her 40 hours a week on the same floor, same office, is not helping any either. There is no possibility for transfer in work or quitting, so that's not the advice I need. How can I ever get over her by being around her all the time?

[talaniman]

Unfortunately my friend, you have very little choice but to accept your circumstances, and put up a brave casual front, as you keep yourself under control, and are able to cope with those feelings.

No there are no pills, potents, or magic pills to make the feelings go away, but you can cope with them, by having a great life outside of work, that makes you happy.

That's all you can do as you pay for the consequences of being in a workplace relationship that failed. You have to see them every day.

But the good news is, they have to see you too, and wonder what the freak you are so happy about. Remember, you dumped her, for whatever reason, and probably are a bit jealous now that she has moved on and gotten another guy, and feel replaced. I doubt you would be that concerned if you had a relationship you were happy with.

[DaniCalifornia]

I once heard from a very intelligent woman; "It takes half the length of the relationship to get over that person". Assuming this referred to people that are able to cut ties. It's going to take longer, but you WILL get over it. I've been in your situation, and I got over them WHILE I was still surrounded by them. It's all in the mind. Tell yourself you are over them, and that you will be okay. Treat them like a friend, not a lost lover. You will eventually adapt, I assure you.

Xx Dani G