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DAnna123 · Mar 4, 2011, 10:39 PM

I am only young but I am pregs. I live at my boyfreinds with him and his family because my mum doesn't want me there. I still contact my mum and everything but I want to know if it is right to keep the baby and live like this ?

Wondergirl · Mar 4, 2011, 10:42 PM

How old are you? Can you live where you are indefinitely? What about school and having a normal life?

DAnna123 · Mar 4, 2011, 10:45 PM

I'm 16 and in australia. I go to school and have a normal life I guess its just getting complicated cause of this thing

Wondergirl · Mar 4, 2011, 10:52 PM

How far along are you? Does your mum want you to get an abortion or give the baby away?

DAnna123 · Mar 4, 2011, 10:55 PM

I have no idea. My boyf knnows. I was crying too much to hear the nurse doctor person. And my mum doesn't care as long as I can still go to school.

Wondergirl · Mar 4, 2011, 11:01 PM

Do you and your boyfriend want to keep the baby? Have you talked about it at all, or is this very new information about the baby?

What do his parents say?

J_9 · Mar 4, 2011, 11:01 PM

DAnna, is there something we can help you with? I'm really not too sure what your question is.

DAnna123 · Mar 4, 2011, 11:54 PM

Um we haven't really talked about it because I get to scared and just burst out in tears. And its like 3 weeks old news. And his parents say that they will stand by us no matter what our choice is.

And I just want to know if it is right to be pregs and have the baby or is abortion the right choice.

At the moment I kind of want to keep it. I don't know what to do :/

J_9 · Mar 5, 2011, 12:01 AM

Having the baby, having an abortion, or giving it up for adoption is your decision. I'm sure you understand that we can't make that decision for you.

This is something that you will have to sit down and talk with your boyfriend, his parents AND your parents about.

You are very young, how will you afford this baby?

DAnna123 · Mar 5, 2011, 12:26 AM

Yeah I know we just need help with it though. And we will talk to them when we are ready cause I'm still trying to understand it and I think my boyfriend is too. And money won't be a problem me and him both have trustfunds we can use.

redhed35 · Mar 5, 2011, 12:38 AM

Are there any counselling services in your area, I'm in ireland and we have a number of them for example CURA, they help pregnant women with providing information on every aspect of pregnancy and choices available.

Have a look in your area for a similar service.

This is a huge step in your life, your going to need help to figure this all out and come to terms with what is happening.

Alty · Mar 5, 2011, 12:44 AM

DAnna, we really can't make this decision for you, but we can help you by letting you know what options you have.

You've had 3 weeks to absorb this, how do you fell about becoming a mom? How will you feel if you have to raise the baby on your own? Chances are you and your boyfriend won't stay together, young relationships rarely last forever. So, are you prepared to be a single mom?

Do you want to finish school? Do you dream of one day having a career? Have you thought about how you're going to achieve that if you have a baby? What happens when the trustfunds run out?

Those are all things to think about if you decide to keep the baby.

You also have the option of adoption. Is this something you're considering?

Of course abortion is also an option. How do you feel about abortion? How does your boyfriend feel? Have you talked to a doctor about the procedure?

You really should discuss all these options, not only with your boyfriend, his parents and yours, but with your doctor.

In the end the choice is yours and yours alone. It's your body.

DAnna123 · Mar 5, 2011, 12:58 AM

I have no idea haven't thought about it, I'm still freaking out by the fact of it. I wouldn't trust myself with it, I can do it on my own,BUT I know that someone will always be there. Im not going to be a single mom ever. I need to finish year 12 to get into my course. I have basically stopped thinking about the future cause I no that even if I have this baby I can still be a dancer :). Umm not sure about the what will happen when it does. Don't think it will cuase I have a job that contributes to it as well :) and idont know about adoption cause if I have it I will want it. And I really really don't want to have an abortion that's cruel and mean but if I have to I will. Thanks :)

redhed35 · Mar 5, 2011, 01:03 AM

DAnna, over the next few days gather up ALL the information you can find,go online, ask your doctor, find out.. and then you can make an informed educated decision, when you have that done its easier to form a plan and at the very least you will know what road your going to take.

DAnna123 · Mar 5, 2011, 01:04 AM

Is it normal to be scared as fudge and like cry heaps at night cause you can't handle it ?

redhed35 · Mar 5, 2011, 01:35 AM

Originally Posted by DAnna123

is it normal to be scared as fudge and like cry heaps at night cause you can't handle it ?

Yep!

For most women anyway, even those who plan a pregnancy.

Get all the information you can, it will take some of the fear out of it,the unknown is scary.

If you have an older women to talk too, someone you trust and has your best interest at heart,it will really help.

DAnna123 · Mar 5, 2011, 03:15 PM

OK thanks. This is the most scaryest thing ever. Please tell me I'm doing the right thing atm

Wondergirl · Mar 5, 2011, 03:21 PM

What are you doing?

DAnna123 · Mar 5, 2011, 03:28 PM

Wondergirl.. What do you mean?

Alty · Mar 5, 2011, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by DAnna123

ok thanks. this is the most scaryest thing ever. please tell me im doing the right thing atm

Danna, I'm going to be a bit tough. You're not going to like what I have to say, but this is part of being a grown up, so you need to hear it.

Yes, you're young, but you made the decision to have sex, even though you knew pregnancy was a possibility. Now you are pregnant. You made an adult choice, and now you have to be adult enough to make a decision about the consequences of that choice.

No one here can tell you you're doing the right thing. You have to decide what you're going to do.

It's time to be a grownup. That's what's expected when you play grownup games.

You need to find the resources available in order to make a decision about this. You need to decide what you're going to do. You need to stop feeling helpless and be mature about this, because you're going to be a mother. You are going to be responsible for another human being. One way or another you're going to have to learn to be an adult. Adults have to make tough decisions every day.