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Msright · Mar 4, 2011, 03:39 PM

Over the past few days, my sons father and I have been speaking to each other via email and we agreed to our son coming to visit him for 3 months in California, which is where my son is originally from.The reason for him keeping him for so long, is because I moved away from his dad to Maryland and he hasn't seen his son in 3 months. We do not have a coustody order from the courts, just something we both agreed to. I want to know if he can keep him away from me, if I have emails stating that he agrees to our son coming back to Maryland? I am a little scared, but I want our son to see his dad since it's been 3 months since they've seen each other. But I also want our son to come back to Maryland to be with his mother. I just need to know if I am making the right decision when it comes to our son, and if emails from his dad is binding enough to make sure he sends him back. Can he break this agreement and take me to court or can my emails be solid enough? I am so worried that I won't see him again unless we go to court, even though he keeps telling me via email and over the phone that I can come and get our son on this particular date with out a problem. I truly need some advice.

JudyKayTee · Mar 4, 2011, 03:47 PM

Without a Court Order you both have equal rights - the son can live with you OR the son can live with his father. If the father does NOT bring him back in most cases the Police will not get involved.

I would not believe anything except for a Court Order.

Yes, your son could arrive in California and his father could attempt for custody there.

You need a good Attorney and I believe you need a Court Order.

I myself wouldn't take a chance that my son would not be returned.

You are now on the opposite side of your last thread where you wanted to know if you could keep this child from his father. The answer was "yes" because there's no Court Order. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/childr...ml#post2721062

Your "ex" was abusive. Why are allowing him unsupervised visits/custody with your son?

Msright · Mar 4, 2011, 04:12 PM

So, what if he is already on his way to come and get him? Would I be in the wrong for not bringing our son to the airport to go with his dad?

AK lawyer · Mar 4, 2011, 04:26 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

... Yes, your son could arrive in California and his father could attempt for custody there.

You need a good Attorney and I believe you need a Court Order.
...

Correct. If you wanted to enforce your agreement you would have to go to court. And while a written agreement between the parents might be persuasive, it would't have to be honored by the court.

I am assuming, Msright, that you and the father were never divorced so that you don't have, and never had, a court order providing for custody and visititation.

If so, Maryland would be the state where you would get such an order. You should be aware, however, that should the father keep the child in California, even in violation of the agreement between the two of you, if you don't file in court for six months after the child goes to California, the father could file there and that state would be fixed as the state where custody would have to be litigated.

I suggest that you get an attorney to negotiate a custody and visitation order and to file for approval by the court before you allow the child to be taken out-of-state. A stipulated agreement of this nature will probably be relatively inexpensive.

AK lawyer · Mar 4, 2011, 04:31 PM

Originally Posted by Msright

So, what if he is already on his way to come and get him? Would I be in the wrong for not bringing our son to the airport to go with his dad?

No it would not. Of course your son should meet his dad at the airport. But don't allow him to go just yet. Immediately get a lawyer to draft the necessary agreement, as well as the petition to file in court and appearance and waiver of service of process, for the father to sign. I, were I your attorney, would draft the papers with the necessary safeguards, and once these papers are signed by the father, I would be comfortable with advising you to allow the trip to proceed.

ScottGem · Mar 4, 2011, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by Msright

I just need to know if I am making the right decision when it comes to our son,

You made the wrong decision when you didn't formalize your custody when you split with the father. Now you are paying for that decision.

I agree with the others that anything short of a court ratified agreement will not be binding. If he decides to keep your son, you may get him back but not without a court battle.