[Bigpun13]

I need some help/ advice with my ex girlfriend.

We broke up a Halloween weekend. We saw each other and kind of distanced ourselves the month of December. We've begun talking but she always texts mr and I never initiate a conversation with her. She now has a new boyfriend but will text me asking how I am, songs about wanting mr back, asking how I am etc. I saw her today on campus and she told mr to go kill myself in front of tons of people in the caf. I have done nothing to her but been nice. I don't bother her and only 4 month after we broke up she has a new boyfriend. However, she continues to text me her friends have come up to me and told mr that my ex thinks we will get back together and her new man is just a filler. What do I do? What is wrong with my ex and why is she being such a *****? Or why does she continue to text me but well tell me to kill myself?

[southamerica]

Hmm, I hear a lot about what you're ex is doing and her expectations but I don't know at all what you want.

Do you even want to get back together with her?

[Bigpun13]

I do want to get back with her. What should I do? She is leaving to study aboard for two months. So I doubt her and her new man will be able to last through that. And it seems to me since she hasn't ever shut the door on me or ever stop contacting mr that I still have a good chance. Don't you think?

[southamerica]

I think it's likely you'll have a chance, because she's still texting you all the time and talking to her friends about a reunion with you.

What's missing in my opinion is any sort of open communication. Everything you've heard about her wishes has been hearsay and any communication between the two of you has been initiated by her.

If you want to clear the air between the two of you and stop the petty "why don't you go kill yourself" remarks (which is a little shocking to me, but probably just immature lashing out), then it's time to ask her "what's going on? what do you want to happen here?"

Good luck, hope this helps!

[Cat1864]

Time to end the confusion and any false hope you might be holding on to. She is playing games and she can't play with you if you don't allow it. She has a new boyfriend. Let him deal with her and her moods.

You, on the other hand, block her number and ignore her as much as possible. Delete texts without reading them. Don't ask friends what she is up to and do ask them not to tell you.

Get involved in things that you enjoy and keep your mind off her and her games. Meet new people and make new friends. Have fun living your life and being you. Someday, when you are ready, you will meet someone who will make a much better girlfriend than this girl.

Take care of yourself and forget about her.

[Bigpun13]

So cat you think I don't have any chance with her? I want to win her back

[Cat1864]

This will seem harsh:

No, I don't think you have a chance at a successful and healthy relationship with her right now.

She has a boyfriend. That fact alone makes her off-limits. Think about it. Would you want him to try to get her back from you? Would you really trust her if she was so easily enticed away from a relationship?

Even if she does break up with him, she needs to take time to heal and unpack the emotional baggage. If she doesn't, she piles it up on the next person who she gets involved with. Instead of dealing with her own issues she tries to make other people deal with them.

Sliding or jumping from one relationship to another is an extremely bad habit to get into. It makes it easier to not deal with the problems in the relationship because you can just find another one.

When you break up with someone, do not get back together (if she is available) until you work through the issues that caused the break up along with the general healing and letting go of the past. On again-off again relationships happen because people don't work through the issues or think 'it will be better this time' without putting in any work.

She is playing with your emotions and I have a feeling it is very deliberate. She tells you in private how much she misses you and makes you think you are the only male for her. What do you think she tells her current boyfriend? In public, she treats you like dirt and worse so that current boyfriend doesn't get suspicious and dump her before she loses interest in him. Why not have two of you on a string before she goes abroad? Once, abroad she can find a new guy and still have the ones at home.

Instead of trying to get her back (which only feeds her ego and keeps her playing games.) Let her go and work on your relationship with yourself. You deserve so much more and better than what you are getting from her. If you give yourself a chance to believe it, I think you will see what I mean and that there are females who won't treat you like a stray dog that they feed in the backyard and kick on the street.

Please, let go and take care of yourself.

[talaniman]

And it seems to me since she hasn't ever shut the door on me or ever stop contacting me that I still have a good chance. Don't you think?

Have you no dignity and self respect? Leave her alone why don't you, and quit letting her punk you out in public like a chump. And you want her back? Are you crazy? You would be a laughing stock, and she would be laughing the hardest.

[Bigpun13]

My ex and I broke up around Halloween. She is seeing someone else now however she continues to text and talk to me. When I see her she will tell me how much she misses me. This past weekend she called me at 1230 am and when I met up with her she told me her and her new man were on the outs. She just sent me a song on Facebook by adele called rolling in the deep. I read the lryics but I don't know what to think or what she is trying to tell me. She has been texting me more and more. We dated for 2 years so the feelings I have for her are still really strong. I've been trying to move on and I've been seeing other girls. But every time I start moving forward she throws me these bones.

Now my question is what do you think she means by the song and what should I do or how should I respond. I do want her back so is it best to continue to just ignore with what she mostly says and let her want me back more. Or are these just false hopes? What does she mean by sending me this song?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, she wants to be free and date, but still hold you as a back up when things are not good.

Stop reading any text from her, don't answer the phone when she calls and break off all contact and move on.

[Bigpun13]

But I want her back. Is that still possible?

[Wondergirl]

But I want her back. Is that still possible?

Nope. She'll drop this guy for a new one, but not for you. You are simply a comfortable, warm afghan to wrap herself in when she feels a chill in the air.

[Sumitkumar7266]

You should not text her or receive any cal.. Try the theory of no contact.. Don't talk with her or text her.. Try to block her profile in Facebook,so that she can't reach you.. Move on man.. U will get nice gal who will love u more than her but don't go back to the same person who just need you when she is not having around her.. That nature of her is called selfishness.. Don't start this again or else again u will feel same pain when she leaves u again..

[talaniman]

No matter how many times you ask this quesstion, you will get the same answers, she is playing you my friend.

[Cat1864]

Time to stop living in the past. She is not the person you were dating prior to Halloween weekend. At least I hope she wasn't this manipulative, cruel, people using creature you have described here while you were dating her.

Look at her. Not who you want her to be. Look at her actions in public. Do you really want to be with someone who can tell you to go kill yourself? Sweet words and ambiguous messages should not be allowed to cover up the abuse she has given you over the past few months (and, if you are honest, probably before you broke up.)

You deserve someone who likes you and gives you respect. Do you really like her as a person and respect her?