Check out some similar questions!

Zac79 · Feb 25, 2011, 02:13 AM

I'm 31yr old male and my GF is 32yr old. I have a 9yr old son and she has a 5yr & 7yr. We only dated for like 7 months before we both decided to move into my house. Now 7months later she is moving out. Then on this one night I know I said some words to her out of anger(which was wrong I know) about her not helping with any bill which has come about do to her recent job loss and having no money. I also told her maybe she needs to find another place to live. The next day she packed clothing for her and the kids and went and stayed with a Couple we are friends with till she could find a place. I have since realized that it truly sucks not having them in the house anymore. It has been 2 1/2 weeks now that she has been gone. I have tried to talk to her about this whole matter not just the bills or lack of looking for work but, OR why she has become more distant towards me and have got very little answers. Until last night we sat and talked for 2hrs and she feel that we rushed this whole moving in process way to fast seeing we went from ony seeing one another a couple hours a week to then moving two famlies in with one another and exspecting it all to work out. We both feel we never had a true foundation to are own relationship which should have been done 1st. I would love to have her and the children back at my house but she has decided that she need to get her own place and a Job which she done that and get her feet back on the ground before anything can happen. She has some other issues going on that really bother her to like her baby brother being deployed over seas to fight and the loss of the job she had where she made a great living and would be lucky to get 1/3 of that in today's market. I understand she has these problem and am willing to work with her and maybe turn this into a real relationship how it should have been dealt with the 1st time. It just scares me that when she is all moved out. I will be out of the picture. Which she swears at this point a relationship with anyone is the last thought she has. She just wants to build her life back up and feel she can't do that and rebuild ares at the same time.

Shonnarose · Mar 1, 2011, 09:36 AM

HI. I just read your note and I am sorry things didn't work out well for you all. You mention that you had words with her and asked her to leave due to financial business.. it is hard to survive these days without the necessary cash required, understandable, but was the real issue money? You had not known each other long enuf to get together in my opinion and so it would seem hers now. If you still want her to be part of your life and maybe part of your future ask her out on dates on occasions and try the old courtship "thingy".. it works for women as we like to be loved and pampered on occasion and with all those kiddies around I'm sure you two didn't have enuf time for yourselves to truly chat/get intimate and discuss issues of your lives... learn about each other and next time don't be hasty about getting together.

talaniman · Mar 1, 2011, 12:33 PM

I agree with her 100%. She needs to take her time and get her thing together. Amazing how we miss things when they are gone but she is right, you both moved in way to fast.

Give her space to get her act together, and you take the time to do the same, without her.

Sorry you had to learn patience the hard way.

sharper11 · Mar 23, 2011, 07:39 AM

After reading your post, I get the impression that you two did move a little fast. This can sometimes lead to a quick end to a relationship.

My advice would be to let her have her space, and figure out what she wants. Be there for her if she needs you and try to start building the "stable foundation" you mentioned. You two were obviously happy for a while before a few issues jumped into play (the loss of job, her brother being deployed, etc).

It's tough enough to start a good relationship as single's, but throwing kids into the mix makes it more difficult. Take this time to get your head in a good place as she does the same.

I hope it works out for you because you seem to really care for her. Don't "press" on her to hard about getting back together, just roll with it and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out, keep your head up and move on.

Good luck.

dontknownuthin · Mar 23, 2011, 02:42 PM

Let her know you accept and support her decision, are sorry for your harsh words, want to be a support to her as she works on her problems and seeks a job, and hope that you can remain a part of her life. If you ask her out, pay the tab - she can't afford it. Let her know you want to treat so she doesn't feel badly about it. If she wants a break or to break up, respect her wishes and move on. Best wishes.