[elmo930]

I don't get it, I don't understand. I've had 2 long term partners and both have cheated on me. OK the first one started when we were very young, but the 2nd one, everything was great, he said he loved me, we done thing together, but then, some wee girl (18) started chasing him and he went off with, he's 36... They started as friends supposedly as she was a very troubled girl and just wanted him for support. And now, I'm dumped and totall broken, because I was stupid enough to think he was the one?? He says he just needs space, but it seems only from me, because he's not taking any time away from her. Why am I never enough, why am I not good enough for anyone? What do I do wrong?

[redhed35]

Look, that relationship is not going to last as long as it takes me to eat a chicken sandwich, he has done you a favour, he's thinking with his little man, its lust,count yourself lucky he's gone.

Now for you, your trust in men is probably shot to threads, BUT, not all men are the same, there are decent,loving men who want the same things you do.

Your last line really gets me,because I used to think those same thoughts,so, I took a long break from dating and concentrated on me, finding out what made me happy, and that journey made me realise that it was THEM and ME!

I was attracting the same type of guy,jerks one and all, because I thought,really thought that was all I deserved,I ignored any and all red flags.

I digress.

Taking the time to find your happiness,will lead you to be happy and loaded with confidence,with that under your belt it throws a new light on life and how you view it.

For now, no contact with the ex,now is the time for you,take it and run.

[joypulv]

Two.. so far. Some of us have had the same bad luck with more than that. And yes, we feel there is something wrong with us. Maybe there is, but there's something wrong with most people, no? I often marvel at any two people lasting past a year or so.

And I agree with the advice that you have to become a person unto yourself, so that you can be alone when you have to, and sometimes when you want to. It helps to have interests. It helps to have friends, even one good friend. If you don't have family you are close to, at least have that one good friend and that one or more hobby or interest to keep you going. Don't put all your eggs in the Man Basket!

[vanheart]

I agree. Ive had lots of bad luck. Hehehe.

But only attribute it to how aware I was.

Joy's right. Be as one with yourself before anything. Together, comfortable & confident.

I would way rather be happy and single, than miserable in a relationship. (ie: with the wrong person)

Take some time to figure out your strengths & weaknesses. Change for yourself. What it is you really want.

Then things will fall into place. You will know when its right. Your gut will tell you.

Don't rush.