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jellen · Feb 25, 2011, 03:06 PM

My son and daughter in law were divorced a few years ago. The family lives here, but my
Son moved to the west coast because of his job. I used to see everyone, but,this past
Year, I saw my grndchildren in August, October and Xmas. I haven't heard from them since,
Not even on my birthday in January. My son and I keep in touch.
What now ?

tickle · Feb 25, 2011, 03:35 PM

jellen, it is unfortunate but unless you have good communication with the family you won't get any satisfaction. There is nothing legal you can do.

Tick

joypulv · Feb 25, 2011, 03:42 PM

My advice is to try to not take it personally, and just remain as open and loving as you can be without recriminations. You don't really know what she is going through in her relationship with him, with any financial struggles, time constraints, or even what the children are doing outside of school (sports, lessons, etc). Birthdays get forgotten just because of snowstorms and such.

I would bake cookies and mail them with little notes of love. Kids love that, and it doesn't put you in the category of 'buying' their love. Well sort of...

If they are older, such as teens, it is almost a given that they are all wrapped up in their teen lives, and both parents and grandparents just have to hold their breaths and wait for it to all be over.

Jake2008 · Feb 26, 2011, 09:11 AM

I would say that if your ex daughter in law has been willing, and accommodating, for you to see your Grandchildren, there is hope for improvement.

If I were you, I would phone her up, and ask her if you can visit, when the children are not around. Tell her honestly that you feel hesitant and a little uncomfortable because you don't know what, if anything, you can do, in order to establish more contact with the children.

Just talk to her. Woman to woman. Keep the topic on just establishing better contact with her, to be more involved in the children's lives. You might suggest that for now, once a month, if it's okay with her, that you have the children for a full day, maybe a Saturday, and take them to the museum, or the park, or to your house. And then go from there.

Make it clear as well, that you have no desire to get between any problems that your son and her are having, and that you only wish a better relationship with her, and her children.

I would tell your son the same thing.

I hope that she will be receptive. Children need all the loving they can get, particularly if their parents have split, and grandparents are most definitely a plus in their lives.

Just talk to her. And good luck.