Check out some similar questions!

carter93 · Feb 20, 2011, 10:48 AM

Im pregnant and all my friends and my boyfriend are getting really drunk around me.I use to be a drinker it really upsets me, they invite me out so I don't feel left out and I just watch them get drunk.
If I don't go out with them I feel left out. Im really confused weather my friends and boyfriend should be treating me like this, also the other day me and my boyfriend arranged to meet up because we hadn't seen each other in 3 days and then say's he wants to get drunk and it really got to me... HELP

ScottGem · Feb 20, 2011, 11:43 AM

Since this was posted in the Teens forum I would assume you are all teenagers. This means that any drinking is illegal for you. This also means that you are hanging out with the wrong crowd if they are drinking, especially if they are getting drunk. I'm suspecting that how you got pregnant.

You need to reexamine your priorities. You already messed up by getting yourself pregnant as a teen age, unwed mother. That fact changed your life. You can no longer be the party girl, you have the responsibility of another life. You need to sever ties with these, so-called, friends unless they stop drinking.

You also need to read the riot act to your boy friend (assuming he's the father). He too is now responsible for another life and he needs to get used to that. He should have kept it in his pants.

This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but I doubt if you will hear different from anyone else here. I think you understand now, why I say no one should engage in sexual intercourse until they are financially, physically and emotionally read to have a child.

carter93 · Feb 21, 2011, 06:29 PM

Im 18, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and my contraception failed. I'm fully aware or of the changes I need to make and have made to welcome this baby into my life. I haven't messed up, and I didn't say I was still drinking.My friends our drinking around me and I feel uncomfortable being around them they don't drink all the time and I do spend time with them sober. But I don't know what to do at social events. Your answer was unhelpful and harsh

ScottGem · Feb 21, 2011, 06:43 PM

Sorry that you felt my answer was harsh. The truth hurts sometimes. But I don't see how you can say it wasn't helpful since you say your agree with a lot of the things I said.

Yes you messed up. No form of contraception is 100%. If you didn't want a child yet, you shouldn't have risked it.

I know you said you weren't still drinking. I should hope you stopped as soon as you found out you were pregnant. But the fact remains that the legal drinking age is 21. For ANY of your friends to be drinking is illegal AND irresponsible especially to be drinking to the point of getting drunk.

I stand by my advice. You need to sever ties with these people and your boyfriend needs to become more responsible. And if you were being honest with yourself, you would see this advice as being helpful, even though its not what you wanted to hear.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 21, 2011, 07:26 PM

What you are missing is that up till you got pregnant that was you going out and getting drunk all the time. You are growing up and maturing and they are not. The boyfriend has not figured out he is going to be a father and needs to start thinking about supporting the baby, child support and more.

So these are the facts of life, you need to lose these types of "friends" and find ones who want to work, who want to make something of their life and not be drunks

adviceishere · Feb 22, 2011, 01:40 AM

Hey, well I'm pregnant too so I can understand how vunerable you might be feeling at the moment so the previous advice you got may seem much more harsh with your hormones and the fact you feel your missing out but they are right and it is good advice, but I also know what its like to feel left out but I don't let myself feel like that, my boyfriend knows the score, he goes out with his friends once a month and me and him spend our time going to the cinema and out to eat and mostly watching movies and getting a takeout, surely your boyfriend can make this sacrifice for you, and when he does havehos time with his friends I will be spending it meeting with a friend for a catch up (drinking tea) or going with my mother or sister baby shopping, there are also lots of baby and mother groups you can join who will have loads of young mothers just like yourself that you can relate to and maybe make some close friends.

carter93 · Feb 22, 2011, 05:38 PM

I think I do need to find some other friend and keep the one's that are supporting me, I hadn't really tough about making plans while my friends our out drinking I suppose if my friends where good friend they would keep in touch and not just think of me as an ex party girl.

Also The legal drinking age in mt country is 18. If you where a woman I think you would understand that and child that they conceived was not a mistake.

Alty · Feb 22, 2011, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by carter93

I think i do need to find some other friend and keep the one's that are supporting me, i hadn't really tough about making plans while my friends our out drinking i suppose if my friends where good friend they would keep in touch and not just think of me as an ex party girl.

also The legal drinking age in mt country is 18. If you where a woman i think you would understand that and child that they conceived was not a mistake.

You must be in Canada.

You're going to be a mom, so your party days are over. If your friends can't understand that, then it's time to find new friends. Friends that also have the responsibility of being a parent.

No child that is conceived is a mistake. I agree. But that doesn't mean that every teen that becomes pregnant should be a mother.